


We Try At Least

by wheres_peggy_tho



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: Everyone kinda has problems, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, James Reynolds is an asshole screw him, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, This is gunna get hella sad, but it’s ok cause it’s hella gay, except James Reynolds, i like angst too much, i will forever feel bad for maria, if there’s fluff thank my friend, john deserves happiness, johns dad starts off shitty but I might fix him, like Ohmygod get these kids help, she either wrote the fluff or made me write it, someome help this girl, sorry there’s a lot of triggers, they all do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-05-30 22:32:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheres_peggy_tho/pseuds/wheres_peggy_tho
Summary: Basically just a modern high school au that’s like very gay. I’m sorry I’m very bad at giving descriptions but I promise it’s good. I’m co writing this with my friend but she doesn’t have ao3 so I’m posting it.Also there are a good amount of triggers in this, I think I managed to tag them but if you catch one that I forgot about please call me out on it.





	1. Chapter 1

Alexander smelled the crisp New York air.  _'Yup. Definitely pot.'_  He thought to himself and chuckled. Today is the first day at a new school. Alex would have stayed at his old school if not for his father deserting he and his mother. At least he took all of his debt with him. But now he is arriving on the first day of sophomore year to Constitution High School. Now he just has to make friends. Ha ha! No. Right now, he needs to keep his mother stable and work on school. People would get in the way of that. He shakes his head and looks around the campus. There are people nearly everywhere and a few dying saplings. It's so stupid when people plant trees when everyone knows they won't survive. It's pointless. The school is pretty dull looking. Very large and 10 main buildings of study. There are others but they are more minor. The front of the school is almost like a court house because of the freaky pillars. Fitting for the name "Constitution High". He looks to the right and sees bike racks and drug dealers. To the left is the bus loop and the cafeteria. Let's hope the school has decent people. Alex takes a deep breath as he plunges into the sea of people, making his way to the cafeteria to ask people for money so he can buy something. 

 

John ran into the cafeteria and sat down at the nearest empty table to catch his breath. “I told you I’d win.” He said to Herc after he finally caught up. 

 

“How the hell are you so fast with those tiny ass legs?!” Herc panted. 

 

“Wow just for that I’m not buying you a muffin.” John told him. 

 

“Dude that’s cold.” Herc said as John laughed. He looked at the crowd of people and a boy caught his attention, he looked a little lost. John saw the boys face and could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat.  _‘Shit he’s cute, I mean what.’_  He put that thought aside and pointed out the boy to Herc. 

 

“That freshman looks lost, care to use our experience in this hell hole to help the kid out?” Her asked him. 

 

“Sure!” Herc said. The two walked over to him. 

 

“You good there freshman. You kinda look like you don’t have a clue what the hell is going on.” John said to him. Alex whipped his head around with wide eyes and almost stumbled backwards. When he regained his balance, he looked at the cute boy who talked and narrowed his eyes.

 

“Sophomore, actually. I would say it was my height that would make me seem like that but even the freshman are taller than you." The poor boy looked heartbroken. It was so adorable but it also made him feel guilty...  _Wait. Nope. He wasn't cute. Merely amusing. What the hell was that thought??!? Thinking like that isn't healthy. Get it together!_ Hestammered then said "I like your boots." trying to restart the introduction. The boy looked up slightly confused. "I...I said that I liked you bo- never mind." He extended his right hand. "I'm Alexander Hamilton. There's millions and millions of things that I haven't done quite yet but if you wait, I'll change that." He winked at the boy in an attempt to distract him then immediately realized what he did and wanted to smash his head into the nearest wall. ‘ _I WINKED at him. What weirdo does that?!?!! Uggh. This is turning into the worst day ever.’_ At least the scary looking dude behind him was enjoying this. He was practically rolling in the ground crying! The cute boy. ‘ _NO_.’ The boy seemed to cheer up a bit and even giggled a little.  _Hot damn that giggle! I'd put that on repeat if I could._ The boy took his retreating arm with a surprisingly firm grasp, shook it, and said 

 

"Laurens. I'm John Laurens." with a grin. He hope to God he’d see this John again. 

 

That wink definitely threw John off but he just laughed. That wasn’t anything, just a wink. A wink from a cute boy.  _‘Damn John your gay is showing. Be cool your dork.’_

 

“Sorry for thinking you’re a freshman. I just assumed cause well, you looked lost and that’s usually how they are. People think I’m one all the time even though I’m a junior cause well,,,, it’s pretty obvious why.”  _‘Dude you’re talking too much.’_  “Anyway, aren’t you still new? I haven’t seen you around before and as I said before it look lost.” John heard Herc trying to quiet his laughs behind him so he elbowed his side. “Ignore my friend.” John told Alex. 

 

“It’s impossible to ignore me. I’m too amazing.” Herc said. 

 

“Keep telling yourself that.” Herc flipped John off then offered a hand to Alex. 

 

“I’m Hercules Mulligan by the way.” He said. Alex shook his hand. 

 

“Alexander Hamilton.” Herc smiled. 

 

“So I heard. Now care to tell me, Alexander, what these millions of things you haven’t done are? And how big are they that we should just wait for it?” He asked. He watched as the boy tried to piece together what to say. “Aw you lower class men get so cute when you’re flustered.” Herc said. Alex went red and John had to look away.  _‘Oh god damnit why are guys so cute when they blush?! Wait what the hell can you think straight for once Laurens!’_ Herc looked at them smirking, it was obvious he did what he did on purpose. John, realizing this, glared at him but Herc just smiled back like he wasn’t guilty. 

 

“Anyway,, do you need help with anything?” John asked Alex again.  _Deeeeeep breeeaath. Who the hell does that Hercules think he is??? Calm. Down. Ok._  Alex looks back up as John asks him if he needs help. He regains his "power pose" and looks at him. 

 

"Well, actually, I am a transfer student and that would be why I looked like a freshman but yes. I could use some help. I just moved here too so I don't know my way around the state." He took a sigh. John straightened up and smiled. 

 

"I think I can help you with that" he said as they started walking away.  _Wait. I feel like I'm forgetting something._  Alex’s stomach loudly rumbles and He stops walking to look at John as he looks up at him with a sly grin. 

 

"Uhh... do you have any money? I think I need food." He scratches the back of head awkwardly and John just laughs. 

 

"Yeah I do" he gives Alex a ten and he runs to the line to finally put sustenance into his abyss of a stomach.  _That was not the best introduction. This guy is so great! But he's a dude. He is a dude. No. No no no. Okay, I've got to get my head on straight._  He gets the food and John jogs over to him. "Come on. I'll show you around later. You can sit with my crew. You haven't even met Laf yet!" He grabs his arm and pulls him over to a circular table with the tall man, Hercules, and an even taller boy with really REALLY soft looking hair. His hair is tied back into a high ponytail and it makes its own Afro. He turns to look over at me and.  _Wait. Holy shit, this guy is wearing makeup. And it's not even bad!_ He has on winged eyeliner and the shiny stuff that goes on your cheeks and nose. John pulls over a fourth chair and Alex sits down with them. 

 

"Hey," He says. "I'm Alexander and I'm a SOPHOMORE transfer student. I'm also fluent in French." The makeup dude hugs him and kisses him cheeks. He pull away as he says 

 

"Mon ami, vous êtes toujours les bienvenus à être ici! Je suis le marquis de Lafayette." Alex smiles and replies 

 

"C'est très bon de vous rencontrer. Je n'ai jamais vécu à New York avant... C'est encore très nouveau pour moi." He winks at the others at the table then we delve into a deep discussion based on the "how many licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop" commercial and Alex can't imagine a better place to be right now. 

 

John laughed as Laf went into a whole conspiracy on the tootsie pop commercial before his phone rang, he groaned as he looked at the caller ID. “What are the chances of me living if I ignore this call?” He asked Laf. Laf looked at his phone then sighed. 

 

“Slim.” Nodding in agreement John got up from the table and left to take this call. As he left a girl ran up to the table, nearly tripping as she stopped. 

 

“Laf! Herc! Hi! I’ve been looking for you guys! Do you remember me?!” She asked excitedly. Herc stared for a second before it clicked. 

 

“Ohmygod Peggy Schuyler! Last time I saw you you were a seventh grader!” He stood up and hugged her. 

 

“Aha not anymore! I’m a high schooler!” She said hugging Laf too. She let out a gasp when she saw his makeup. “Your face is beautiful!” She laughed at herself. “Sorry I’m a little excited. Though concerned at the same time because I may have lost Angelica and Eliza but like it’s fine I can totally handle myself.” A guys whistled as he walked past her and she moved closer to Herc. “Never mind these kids are all horrible.” Laf flipped the guys off and Herc turned to Peggy. 

 

“It’s alright Pegs we’ll keep you safe. John should be back soon, he’ll love to see you. You’re the only person shorter than him.” He patted her head. “In the meantime sit with us, though I warn you, our conversations are dumb. This is Alexander by the way.” He pointed to Alex across the table. Peggy smiled and waved at him. “Hi I’m Peggy!” She said offering her hand. He shook it and smiled. “I have a habit of telling good looking people when they’re, well good looking, so let me tell you. You’re very good looking.” She smiled as he blushed. 

 

“Thanks.” He said. 

 

“You’re welcome!” And with that she sat down and joined the conversation. After a few minuets John came back obviously annoyed over something. 

 

“Wow well I’m ready to jump off the roof.” He sat down next to Alex. He noticed Peggy and started talking to her. He’ll need a distraction for the rest of the day probably. Alex looked up at John's suicidal statement. 

 

"Why the Hell would you say that?! Is everything alright? Can I help you?" John looked at him and gave a tired smile before he turned back to the girl called Peggy. They started talking again and Alexander was not about to take it. "Hey!" He grabbed John's shoulder with force and turned him so that they'd be facing each other. The sudden movement made John jump. "What happened? You can't just bottle everything up. Hell, one of the only reasons I'm even here is because I told people how I felt instead of hiding everything. I wrote everything down and people recognized that. I won't let you kill yourself from the inside out without sharing a portion of your pain or stress or fears or whatever the Hell you are going through. You can't ignore me so easily. Now tell me. What's wrong?" The more he talked, the deeper and quieter his voice went. The more he talked, the closer John was getting to crying. The more he talked, the more others turned their heads. John looked down and Alex scooted his chair over and hugged him. "Tell me what's wrong" he whispered in his ear. "Please." John was confused as to why this new kid seemed to care so much if he was ok. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate it, but he wouldn’t tell him. He put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and smiled. 

 

“I appreciate your concern Alexander but trust me when I say this is better left unsaid. I’m serious.” He let go of his shoulder. “I should go find Mary, make sure she’s doing alright.” He quickly walked away from the table. Alex made a move to stop him but Herc held up his hand. 

 

“It’s alright, I got him.” Herc then stood up and went after John. An uncomfortable silence fell over the table as the rest of them continued to sit there. Peggy looked over at Laf. 

 

“Is he ok? Is it still this bad?” She asked him. 

 

“I’m afraid so.” Laf answered. They stopped the talk at that leaving Alex to stare between the two of them without a single clue what was going on. 

 

"Okay can one of you be a bit more clear on what the Hell just happened?!" Alexander angrily looked between the two. He lowered his voice so that only they could hear. "If I'm going to at least hang out with you guys sometimes then I think I should have at least a brief description of what just happened." 

 

Two beautiful women came walking over in their general direction after he said that. It didn't matter if Laf or Peggy were going to say anything; they weren't going to now. The girls were gaining and one of them stopped in her tracks, whispered something to the other girl, then walked away again. The other girl nodded and continued walking. She was dressed in pink tones and looked vaguely familiar to Alex. Once she pinpointed the table Alex was at, she stormed over. Peggy slowly hid behind Lafayette. ‘ _Peggy! That's it! This girl looks like Peggy.’_  She slammed her hands on the table and glared through Lafayette's chest. 

 

"Margarita Schuyler, Eliza and I were looking everywhere for you! We are supposed to be helping you not get lost then you just run away with no warning? How dare you! I wonder what Father's going to say!" The girl whips out her phone and Peggy jumps from Lafayette's back. 

 

"Wait please stop! I'll explain! Don't tell Daddy!" The other girl, dressed in beautiful blue tones, was back and came up to Peggy's sister. 

 

"Angelica, can I talk to you for a second?" The angry girl looked at her and sighed. She turned back to Peggy and pointed at her 

 

"We will talk about this later." Angelica turned away with the other girl who looked like she was blushing. Alexander shook his head, having no comprehension of what just happened and banged his head on the table. Peggy ran her hands through her hair. 

 

“Dang it I didn’t think they’d be so mad I wandered off. I better go with them and apologize so they don’t tell daddy.” She stood up to leave but went over to Alex first. “Word of advice, you’re not going to be able to get John to talk about anything having to do with his personal life. Trust me I’ve tried. The only reason I know is because my sister is close to him. And even so, she doesn’t know everything meaning I don’t either. The only people that know everything are Herc and Laf because they’re his best friends and they’re not going to tell you anything. He wouldn’t want them to. You’d be lucky if you get told anything. And those ‘jokes’ are a daily occurrence, they probably won’t stop anytime soon. Sorry it’s nothing personal it’s just, I’ve known these guys for awhile, it’s how they are.” He spoke really quietly so only he would hear. She patted his shoulder before running after he sisters. After being given this information Alex realized he was alone at the table, people were even leaving the cafeteria. The only other two people that remained were a couple at a table in the corner arguing, though it was the boy that did all of the yelling. After slamming his hands on the table in anger the boy got up and stormed out leaving the girl alone. She sighed and put her head down, her hair falling in front of her face. 

 

Alexander slumped down in his seat. He let his head hang backwards as he saw the girl in the corner get slapped and her boyfriend walked away. Alex frowned and stood up. The boy left and he grabbed his bag and made his way over to the girl in the corner. As he got closer, he could hear her trying to quietly cry. 

 

"Hey," he said. She looked up at him with wide eyes and mascara stains on her cheeks. She grabbed he stuff in an attempt to run away but Alex stopped her. "Hey, I'm sorry I must've scared you. Are you alright? I saw what happened back there and I think you deserve someone to ask how you're doing." He smiled a calming smile and sat down with her. She wiped her eyes and looked at him. He could see the red mark on her cheek. "How much does he do that?" He gestured to her cheek with his chin. The girl looked worried but then seemed to give in. She took a deep breath and reached across the table to hold his hand. He looked at her surprised and she smiled. She patted his hand and slowly retreated. She softly touched her cheek where James had hit her. 

 

“Not that much, I swear. It was my fault anyway. I didn’t meet him on time and I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.” She stumbled over her words. Choosing what to say very carefully. She picked her head up and looked at him, her hair fell in front of her eye but she didn’t move it. “Listen I appreciate you worrying but I’m ok really. It’d be smart for you to go. He’s going to come back and he doesn’t like it when I talk to other guys. He’s just overprotective I wouldn’t want you to get yelled at.” She tried to give a smile to show she was fine but it didn’t really hold up. Instead she bit her lip and turned away. 

 

“He sounds like a horrible person.” Alex told her. 

 

“He’s my fiancé.” She said holding up her hand to show the ring on it. “I wouldn’t be marrying him if he wasn’t good.” She still wouldn’t look him in the eye as she said this. She faced away hoping he would leave before James came back. She wanted to be on his good side that day since he was her ride home but that was already off to a bad start and she didn’t want to ruin it anymore. Alex sighed. He suddenly sat up straighter and started shuffling through his backpack. "Wh-what are you doing?" She asked. He pulled out a fragment of paper and a pen and scribbled his name and number down on it. 

 

"I've got to get to class. I'm new and don't know where anything is, but if you need someone, I'm here." He patted the table next to the note and used it as a boost up. He bent down to collect his things. When he sling his bag on his back, he turned to face her again and said, "High school relationships don't often work out. Just from what I saw, guy your with? He'll be sleeping with middle schoolers when he's in his forties. I think you should reconsider your choice. Oh and your ring?" He paused to give it a good look "It's been laying on the street for 3 years. You can see where someone tried to fix the luster and bends. Good day to you and take care of yourself." Alex pointed a finger gun at her and winked before spinning on his heel and walking away. Maria looked down at her ring. 

 

“The cheap Bastard.” She muttered to herself. She watched as Alex walked away and couldn’t help but smile. She looked at the paper he had written his number before picking it up. “Alexander Hamilton.” She whispered his name as she read it. “Thank you.” She slipped the paper in her bag and continued to sit and wait for James. She knew he’d be back once he cooled off, at least she felt a little happier. She was the only one at the moment. 


	2. Chapter 2

John was currently at his locker arguing with Herc. 

 

“I don’t care Herc, I wouldn’t have even gotten upset and left if Hamilton had minded his own business!” He told him. 

 

“He just wanted to help Jackie. I mean you literally said you wanted to kill yourself.” Herc said. 

 

“I didn’t say that exactly! He was prying!” Herc sighed at John’s stubbornness. 

 

“Can you blame him? You were clearly upset.” He said. 

 

“Yeah so? You knew that, Laf knew that, he does not need to know that. You won’t tell him anything, right?” John stared Herc right in the eyes to get his seriousness across. Herc sighed again. 

 

“Ok. I won’t say anything.” Before John could answer he saw Alex turn the corner. He noticed them and headed over. John responded like the obvious mature person he is, by rolling his eyes and leaving. Herc choose to stay and greet Alex. “Hey there Alex, how you doing?” He asked. Alex looked over Hercules's shoulder be getting on his top toes as he saw John walk away. He frowned and felt back on his flat feet. 

 

"I'm fine. Hey where is he going? Wait never mind. Peggy told me not to bother." Alexander sighed and looked up to meet Herc's eyes with a very serious look. "I. Have no idea," he started laughing "where I am going!" It's like hysteria kicked in or something because he couldn't stop laughing. He sunk to the ground with his back to the lockers and let his bag fall off his shoulder. Soon the laughter turned into sobs. Hercules sat down next to him and the bell for class rang. Time continued to pass and the late bell rang. Herc pulled out a random box of tissues from his backpack and handed it to Alex. He took one and, laughing again, asked "Where did you get those? Are you a fairy? Fairy Herc! Fairy Herc!" He kept crying. He couldn't seem to die. 

 

“You are the second emotional breakdown I’ve felt with today. And no, I’m not a fairy. Just the Dad Friend as I’ve been told.” Alex laughed at that and Herc looked down at him. “You alright kid? I bet your first day hasn’t exactly been what you hoped for.” Alex look up at Herc. 

 

"No. No I'm not fine, man. I'm going through some shit and I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, but I can't talk to you about it. I want you to respect that, y'know? Most of the people I've seen so far are full of bullshit. Or weed. I'm from the middle of nowhere and my father is a shit." The tears stopped but the feeling remained. He wiped his face with a single swipe of his sleeve and looked up at the ceiling. "No cameras" he observed. "Wait so they have metal detectors at this school but no cameras? Are you kidding?" Alexander and Hercules both started to laugh. When they were done Alex turned to look at him again "I'm serious though: I have no clue where I am going. I need help around this place." Herc stood up and helped Alex up too. 

 

“Don’t worry man I can help you out. There was something very ironic in what you just said but I’m not gunna point it out. Anyway, yeah I don’t know why there are metal detectors but not cameras. But if you ask me, and don’t laugh, John and Laf always do but I know the truth, there are hidden cameras.” Alex gave him a look but he just shook his head. “Hear me out. There are no visible cameras but somehow these people always know everything that happens in this school. I mean, either they have hidden cameras or ninjas spying on people and well,, Angelica shot down my ninja theory.” He pouted as he said the last sentence and Alex laughed. “Let’s figure out where your supposed to be. Do you have your schedule? What’s your first class?” Alex looked for his schedule. He hadn’t remembered what was on it but he hoped it was with one of the people he met today so he’d be with someone he knew. He squinted at the sheet of paper. 

 

"English Lit." He looked up. "Ideas?" Herc groaned. "What." Herc looked at Alex 

 

"If you survive this class, boy will history have its eyes on you. I wish you the best." Alex sighed. 

 

"Okay let's do this." He pulled on his bag with determination and grinned at Hercules. He scoffed then gestured to a hallway on the left. 

 

"If you say so. Lezzgo." Miraculously he made it to the class. Once there, he looked at Herc. 

 

"Don't I need a pass?" Herc winked at him and pulled out a yellow slip of paper from his back pocket, clicked a pen that was in his shirt pocket, and leaned against the wall. 

 

"There you go" he gave the paper to Alexander and he looked it over then frowned. 

 

"Hey I'm not a girl. You wrote 'Alexandria'. Wait did you do that on purpose?!" Hercules started holding in chuckles. 

 

"It's Greek" he said. Alex turned to him. 

 

"I'm Scottish!!" Herc laughed, gave him a thwack on the back, and saluted him before sauntering away. "Herc!" Alex turned back to the door and groaned. "Here goes literally nothing." He knocked on the door. A tall man opened the door and looked down at Alex. 

 

“May I help you?” He asked. Alex handed him the note and he read it over. “Alexandria?” He raises an eyebrow. 

 

“They misspelled it.” Alex grumbled. “It’s Alexander.” The man laughed. 

 

“Well Hamilton come on in, you can sit next to,,, let’s say Miss. Schuyler since she seems to know you.” Peggy had waved at him when he walked in but put her hand down quickly. 

 

“Sorry Mr. Washington.” She said. 

 

“It’s alright.” He looked back to Alex. “It’s only the first day so it didn’t feel right to give you guys work so I’ve been letting everyone talk, get to know each other, and me, if you’re interested.” He gave him a smile before returning back to talk to some other students. Alex made his way over to Peggy, looking at the people around him. He recognized some faces but most were new. The boy behind Peggy he didn’t know, he was the only person writing. John sat next to him, he payed no attention to Alex as he walked in. He stared at his phone the whole time. There was a group of boys talking very loudly in the back.  _‘They just look bad.’_ Alex thought. He realized the main guy that Maria girls fiancé. Alex glared before sitting next to Peggy. Peggy instantly started a conversation. She talked a lot but she was always so happy when she did it was hard not to love it. Alexander was thoroughly enjoying talking to Peggy but he still felt a knot-like feeling deep in his chest or throat whenever he thought of or looked at John. 

 

—

 

"Woah woah woah. So you mean your name is Margarita? Like the alcoholic beverage?" Alex and Peggy were out of breath and crying from laughing so hard and only gasps or wheezes escaped their mouths. 

 

"I know! It's so stupid! Thank God I got people to call me Peggy!" 

 

"I'm going to call you Margarita forever now!" She looked at him with mock horror and wet cheeks. 

 

"You better stoooop!" She quoted the Vine. 

 

"You're not my dad!" Alex hollered back to her. Thus their tyrannical laughter pursued. Alex noticed a movement behind him but was too involved with Pe-- Margarita at the moment to even care that  John was asking to leave class. 

 

Peggy was rocking back and forth in her chair while gasping for breath then leaned forward to Alexander and said, "I'm so glad I don't have to pee!" Alex just laughed harder but then realized that he DID have to go. 

 

He looked at Pe -- MARGARITA and said in a serious whisper, "Oh but I do." She laughed even harder. Alex got up and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Mr. Washington?" He looked up at him with a smile. "Do I need to ask if I can go to the bathroom?" 

 

"Nope! I don't care what you do so long you don't fight anyone or disrupt others. Now scoot! I'm trying to play Solitaire since I'm lonely." Alex laughed and walked out of the classroom. 

 

He walked down the hallway trying to find the right door then finally getting the bathroom. He gave a small chuckle from this crazy first day. 'And the day's not over yet' he thought to himself. He walked to a stall since there was only one person in there other than himself and the urinals are so close together. He wiped another tear from his eye as he thought of his conversation with Margarita. God that's such a funny name! 

 

—

 

John stood in the stall farthest from the door talking quickly on the phone with someone. “I know we said to meet after school but I seriously need it now…… then just meet me at my locker after class I’ll give you your money then…… dude don’t worry people literally don’t give a shit come on… thank you.” He hung up the phone before freezing after hearing a noise.  _‘Someone else is in here god damnit.’_  He left the stall and cursed to himself after seein who it was. Alex tried to act as if he hadn’t heard anything but John knew he heard the entire conversation. He leaned against the wall and waited for the sound of the hand dryer to die down. He cleared his throat to catch Alex’s attention. 

 

“Oh, John,,, hey.” He waved awkwardly. John narrowed his eyes and Alex shifted his to the side. “I didn’t hear anything.” He blurted out. 

 

“Yeah you did.” John said walking over to him. “Listen Hamilton, you seem like a good guy and I’m sorry for acting like a douchbag earlier. I just don’t like it when people pry. And I especially don’t like it.” He started circling him. “When people hear things they’re not supposed to. So do me a favor.” He stopped behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “And don’t talk about this. Ever. With anyone. Especially Laf and Herc. I’ve been trying to get them off my back about this for a long time and I’d just hate for that to be ruined. Understand?” Alex slightly nodded. “Good.” He let go of him and backed away. “Glad we had this chat.” With that he left the bathroom, closing the door hard behind him. 

 

Alex let out a sigh. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out, Peggy had texted him. 

 

**‘Dude come back pls. Mr. Washington has to step out and that Reynolds guys is being hella creepy. Like ohmygod he has a fiancée. I feel bad for Maria’**

 

After reading that he quickly hurried out the bathroom and back to class. 

 

—

 

Alex took a deep breath before entering the room again. It's always awkward when you don't know how to walk into a room. Are you supposed to admit you went to the bathroom? Are you not supposed to look at people? Are you supposed to have your hands to your sides or swinging free? Are you opening the door too fast? You must be doing it wrong people will look at you. Alex shook his head to clear his brain the walked in without over complicating everything. Again. He sat next to Peggy. 

 

"Hey Margarita!" He said to her as he leaned on his elbows and bat his eyelashes flirtily. She threw a pencil at his head and it bounced off to the other side of the classroom. "Ow.." he rubbed his head. Mr. Washington stuck his head in the room 

 

"Don't throw pencils" and then left. Peggy and Alex started giggling. 

 

"Okay what was he doing? Are you okay? Do I need to fight James for you?" He looked seriously into her eyes and whispered, "I'll rip off his dick and put it in a mulcher." She started cracking up again which brought a much needed smile to Alex's face considering what just happened in the bathroom. He hoped John heard. He just seemed like such a good guy. Doesn't he have a family that can stop him? Once she had managed to control her laughter over what Alex said she composed herself. 

 

“I don’t think all of that is necessary. Oh and by the way, if you’re going to call me Margarita I’m calling you Hammy. Literally forever. It’s fine though. I don’t need you to fight him, yet. Him and his friends just keep saying gross things. A few of them would touch my hair as they walked past.” Some of the guys were still watching and she shifted uncomfortably under their gaze. “They’re probably going to stop now that you’re here though. Anyway, what took you so long? And why’d you look kinda shook when you came back? You get threatened on the way back?” She laughed at her last sentence. John watched them from where he sat as if daring Alex to say something about what happened. It may have seemed like he hated the guy but he honestly didn’t. There were a lot of things about John he didn’t need nor want other people knowing, the weed being one. The main one being his personal life. His family. You’d only really know them, well his father mainly, if you were a big follower of politics. People that know John father before they know him tend to assume the worst and he didn’t want that with Alex so he planned to keep him in the dark. It’s for the best, right? 

 

"Ew. Shook? Really? And Hammy? That actually hits too close to home... you can call me anything else but that if you don't mind?" Alex looked at Peggy apologetically and she mouthed 'oh' really widely before nodding. "Thank you" he whispered. She patted his shoulder and said 

 

"Alexia?" 

 

"WHAT??" He turned around disgustedly at her as she just grinned. 

 

"How bout... Ham toes?" 

 

"Okay now that's just disgusting. My toes aren't that b- okay I see where you can be coming from... I give up with you! I can't beat the system. You've got me! IVE BEEN SHOT BY FLYING MEXICAN FOOD!!!" He leaned back and grabbed his chest. He was now looking at John. Alex locked eye contact with him, but his tongue, and winked at him before getting back up to laugh with Peggy. 

 

"Did you just wink at him!?" She exclaimed with joy. "You bet I did! And you know he liked it." Alex turned to John and winked again. Peggy squealed and Alexander laughed at her. 

 

"What are you squealing about?" She just blushed and pointed at both of you with one hand and was furiously bitting the other to keep from squealing. "Well damn. Hey John I think I broke her. Can we get a refund? Maybe a better version while we're at it. This one seems kind of run down." She gasped in mock horror and smacked Alex playfully and he pulled himself away from John's desk to defend himself. John couldn’t help but laugh at them. 

 

“You two are ridiculous.” He said playfully pushing Alex away with one hand and using the other to hide his face which was really red.  _‘He really just winked at me! Twice! Wait that makes three times since this morning ohmygod!’_  John looked over at Alex who was still laughing with Peggy. He turned to John and smiled brightly at him. John felt his heartbeat quicken and his face heat up. Now both his hands were covering his face. Alex raised an eyebrow at him. 

 

“You ok?” He asked. John quickly nodded. 

 

“Yep yeah fine.” He took a deep breath and turned back to them. “And to answer your question, no, we cannot return Peggy. Our Peggy is the best Peggy… and Margarita. Honestly if you’re not in love with Peggy you’re doing something wrong with your life.” He told them. Peggy smiled at him. 

 

“Oh stop… but continue.” The three of them laughed and John’s phone buzzed. His sister had texted him which made him frown at the screen. She only texted during school if something happened. 

 

**‘John I don’t know what the hell is happening but Jemmy just texted and father is pissed off right now and he says it’s at you.’**

 

John’s eyes widened at the screen.

 

**‘Wait he’s texting me back’**

**’he said he found weed in your room!’**

**‘John what the hell answer me!’**

**‘I swear when did you start smoking’**

 

John quickly closed out of their conversation to text the kid he was on the phone with early but the bell rang before he could. John grabbed his stuff and ran out the room ignoring Alex and Peggy as they called after him. He hurried to his locker to find the guy there already. 

 

“Look I know I said today but something came up I can’t take it just go.” He said as soon as he came up to him. 

 

“Wait what?” The kid asked looking confused. 

 

“Not today dude seriously hurry and go.” He practically pushed him away from his locker. John’s phone continued to get flooded with messages before it started ringing. He saw it was his father calling and basically screamed in the hall. People stared at him as the passed by but he ignored them as he pushed through the crowds trying to find somewhere, anywhere, where there weren’t so many god damn people. 

 

He ran into an empty stairwell and sat under them. He drew his knees to his chest as he watched his phone ring. He didn’t want to answer it but he knew he had to. As soon as he reached out to grab it the ringing stopped and he sat there frozen. He missed the call. He’s never missed a call. He could feel himself actually shaking. “I missed the call.” He whispered to himself. “Fuck fuck fuck!” He put his hands in his hair and pulled on it completely messing up his ponytail. “God damnit Laurens you idiot!” He yelled at himself. He ignored the footsteps that approached him as he sat there shaking and insulting himself.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Alex ran through the crowd and finally caught up to John. Then he heard him cry out. He had to hurry. He quickly opened the door and pushed it shut. He spun around to face John shaking and crying on the ground. He got on the ground next to him and held him close, rocking him slowly. "Sh sh shh. It's okay, mon ami. You don't have to worry. I'll try to help you as best I can. Don't worry I'm here." John looked up at Alexander and he saw the lights flicker in John's eyes. "I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." Alex combed his fingers into John's hair until he found the hair tie. He gently took it out and started pulling his hair back once more. "I'm here. No one has to be in the room where it happened. I'm going to help you however I can." He finished putting John's hair up then handed him the box of tissues Hercules have to him earlier from his backpack. "Jackie?" He looked up with red cheeks and tear stains. "Can I... call you Jackie?" The boy in his arms nodded and continued to look at him. "Jackie, I've never had friends before. I'd consider you my friend. You're a good one, too. I can help write up a plan for you." Alex hugged John close to his chest for a brief 5 seconds. "I'm here." John let Alex hold him as he tried to calm him down. He hugged himself tightly and just kept crying. His phone started ringing again and the sudden noise made John jump. He reached for his phone but Alex grabbed his hand to stop him. “John I don’t think now is the best time for you to answer that.” He said to him. 

 

“Alex I need to. Please just let me. I can’t miss another call from him.” John begged. Alex slowly let go of John’s hand and let him grab his phone. He took a few deep breaths before answering. “Hello sir.” More tears fell from John’s eyes as his father talked on the other line. “I know sir I’m sorry…… yes sir of course…… I understand sir… goodbye sir.” His phone fell from his hand and he went back to his original position. The only difference is he seemed to be crying more. Alex pulled him into a hug again, taking his hands out of his hair so he wouldn’t pull on it. As he held them he realized just how much John was shaking. John let out a sob that hurt Alex’s heart to hear. John ended up holding onto Alex like he feared if he let go he would just disappear. “Don’t t-tell anyone.” He said in between sobs. They couldn’t know. Laf, Herc, and Eliza would freak. John hadn’t had a breakdown like this since eighth grade. “Please I can’t handle it.” He cried. Alex pulled him closer. 

 

“It’s alright, I won’t.” Alex promised. 

 

“Thank you.” John said. “God I’m sorry you have to see me like this. It’s pathetic, I’m pathetic.” John gaze went dark as he continued to degrade himself, which scared the shit out of Alex. 

 

"Hey no don't say that. It's kind of cute actually. Not that I think you are. It's not that you're not I just... it's not the crying that's cute it's your honesty. Well but it's not cut it shouldn't be cute. Why do I keep saying 'cute'? God!" He hugged John tighter. "I think you are amazing. And you are brave for trusting me. And you are so nice. And. Wow. You're hair smells good. Holy cow. What do you put in this??? Never mind.. wrong time. I feel like I'm doing this wrong. Am I doing this wrong?" Alex takes a deep breath and the bell rings. John jumps in Alex's lap. "It's okay. I think you are pretty extraordinary. Every role model has setbacks. No one is perfect. More cliche quotes." He puts his cheek on John's hair. They sit and rock for what seems like ages until the bell for class rings. The boys look at each other. "You're eyes are so beautiful, Jackie. What a pretty shade of blue." John’s face went red at that comment and a few more tears slipped out. Alex’s eyes widened. “Oh shit John I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you!” John shook his head. 

 

“No you’re fine Alex. I just don’t get complemented often, well, beside from Herc and Laf. Thanks though! I really appreciate it.” John smiled at him. 

 

“Well in that case your smile is amazing too.” John looked down. 

 

“You getting a kick outta this?” He asked. 

 

“Maybe.” Alex answered. 

 

“Thought so.” Both boys started laughing. 

 

“At least you’re feeling better.” Alex pointed out. 

 

“Yeah. You got me there.” John couldn’t help but smile as he looked but up at Alex. He spent a minute just talking him all in. His brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail like John’s except his hair was straight not curly, the dimples that showed whenever he smiled, he thought about how bright and lively his eyes got when he laughed. His laugh, god that laugh was the greatest thing he’s ever heard. He could listen to it on repeat forever and  _‘ohmygod Laurens can you get any gayer. Retreat back in the closet you dummy.’_  He pushed all those thoughts out of his mind and looked away from Alex. He heard the door opening and footsteps and felt like panicking again.  _‘Who the hell would be in this stairwell? It’s the middle of class!’_  

 

“Alexander? John?” 

 

They both looked up and Maria was looking down at them. “Are you two ok?” She asked. 

 

“We’re fine. Just uhh,,, chilling.” John told her. She raised her eyebrows at them. Or only one of them. It was hard to tell since her hair still covered the right side of her face. “What are you doing out of class?” John asked her. She took a slight step back. 

 

“Oh um, I’m going with James. He wanted to leave early and well he’s my ride home so I have to go where he does.” She gave a nervous laugh. John and Alex shared a look. 

 

“Are you ok?” Alex asked. 

 

“Of course why do you ask?” They asked a lot of questions. Too many questions aren’t good. Why did they care so much? People don’t usually. They definitely see, but they never care. So what was up with these two? Alexander frowned at Maria. 

 

"We want you to be happy and safe. You seem so scared. You can't be yourself. He put you in a shell and you think you can't escape. You can! Still have what I gave you?" He looked at her pointedly by tilting his head forward and raising his eyebrows. She gave a small, timid nod. "Good," he said. "If you need a ride, I can drive you. I got my license early." She cracked a smile. 

 

"Thank you," she whispered. 

 

"John and I care. I don't know if anyone else does but we are here for you. That isn't a healthy relationship." He pointed at her cheek with his hand turned upwards. "I'm a healthy relationship, that doesn't happen. Like if John hit me I wouldn't-" he turned at looked at John who popped out of his hug and stared at him with his eyes wide and red cheeks. Alex immediately knew he slipped. "Oh! Well what I mean is.. I was just.... example! I was just getting an.. um example! See?" Alex nervously cleared his throat. 

 

"I need to go now." She said louder and quickly collected herself and her things. "Goodbye Alex. John." With that, she disappeared. Alex looked at John. 

 

"She needs to be saved and I don't know how to do it. I gave her my phone number." He sighed and looked at John to steal some memories of this boy for himself. His soft, brown hair (which smelled amazing) was less messier now but he had little baby hairs that came together to form their own curls on his forehead. His eyebrows looked like he'd never shaped them before and yet they still looked flawless. His eyes were so absolutely handsome and when Alex looked in his eyes, he could see himself. He had a perfect nose. Long, slender bridge that perks up into a rounded tip. His lips looked so soft. They were bitten into scabs on the inside and slightly cracked yet they still seemed soft. He even had a small cleft chin. It was subtle but when you tilted you head or looked from the right angle, it was apparent. He had freckles everywhere. Even on the tips of his ears! Some freckles landed faintly on his lips. Alex leaned on close to his mouth to get a better look. 

 

"Wh-what are you doing?!" John leaned back. 

 

"Oh! Sorry. It's just... well, you have freckles on your lips." Alex blushed a bit and looked away over his shoulder. John was still in his lap! He didn't leave!  _'Why are you so happy, damnit? It's a stupid boy! Maria looks good, too.'_  He bit his lip and turned back to him. John touched his lips and blushed. 

 

“Oh yeah, they’re everywhere.” He told him. John’s phone buzzed again and Alex was prepared to stop him from answering it but then he saw who was texting. 

 

“It’s Laf.” Alex said handing the phone to John. John slightly groaned. 

 

“Jeez don’t get me wrong, I love the guy. I’ve known him for years. He’s like a brother to me and basically the Mom Friend it’s just,,, if he knows something’s wrong he’ll freak out and instantly want to help. He and Herc have already done so much for it just,,, it makes me feel kinda needy and annoying. I don’t know, is that stupid?” He looked up at Alex but he was already looking down at him. 

 

“No it’s not. Needed help is never stupid.” He eyes were soft and his voice was quiet as he spoke. “You don’t have to tell him the truth, I mean I think you should, but you don’t have to. I don’t know what lie you can say but just know I’m willing to stay here. As long as it takes.” John smiled and wiped away some fresh tears. 

 

“How do I, the shittiest person, keep ending up getting great friends?” He asked. 

 

“Because you’re not the shittiest person. You’re great.” Alex told him. John smiled at Alex before giving Laf a half assed reply and going back the hugging Alex like his life depended on it. Which honestly he felt like it did. 

 

“Thank you. I know I already said it but seriously.” He frowned slightly as he pulled away from Alex. “We should probably get to class though. I don’t want to have absences on the first day.” He laughed nervously because none of that was true. Going back to class was the last thing he wanted to do. He hated being around people after getting upset or anything like that. He always felt like they knew, like they saw and now they’re watching him, waiting for it to happen again. But there was an issue more important than that. 

 

Alex. 

 

Being alone with Alex, being this close to Alex, made him feel,,, things. Things he’s been trying not to feel for years. Everytime he blushed, got nervous, or began to feel for a boy John would just forget the feelings and move on but he couldn’t seem to do that with Alex. What was it about him? What made him different from the others? He was certainly something. None of those other guys would sit here, holding John in their arms after he had a breakdown. None of them would care as much seeing as they were just all silly crushes.  _‘This will pass.’_  He thought to himself.  _‘It has to.’_ That’s a stretch. It was more he hoped it would pass.  _‘If it doesn’t then I’m so screwed I might as well throw myself off the roof.’_ He couldn’t even looked at Alex at the moment. He needed his heartbeat to feel normal and his face to remain its normal color, something that didn’t happen when he looked at Alex. Alexander looked skeptically at John. 

 

"Wow okay. I may have only met you today but I can already tell that you're lying. I don't know one person that wants to be near others after a breakdown or panic attack. You should wait at least until this class is over. I expect to see you after school though." He looked at him fondly. "I'm so happy I met you." He snuggled him closer but got unbalanced and had to let go of John to balance by frantically waving his arms but John was already leaning against him and both fell. Alex started laughing. He looked up at John and smiled. He was over Alex with his hands on either side of his head. Alex laughed again at John's horrified expression and said, "Bet this is the first time you've been on top." He blushed a bit and laughed hysterically again. After his over the top laughter was another big giant smile. "The floor feels really nice. It's so cold and refreshing." 

 

John let out a squeal of shock at the top joke but couldn’t help but smile when he saw Alex laugh. “Yeah it is.” He agreed with Alex. “And yeah you’re right I don’t want to go to class but I’m already going to be in some much trouble when I get home I don’t want to add an absence on top of it. And as for seeing you after school, it’s doubtful. My father is probably going to send my mom to pick me and my siblings up and bring us home. Unless he comes himself.” John shuddered at that thought. “If it is my mom though she might let me talk to you but she’ll have to get us home in time so it wouldn’t be long. And I won’t have my phone this weekend. He’s definitely going to take it.” John told him. Alex frowned at that. 

 

“What about Herc and Laf? Can they check on you?” John shook his head. 

 

“Highly doubtful. My parents like them but they won’t be allowed over when I’m in trouble and I’m going to be in major trouble trust me.” John explained. John sighed as he got off of Alex and laid next to him on the floor. “I normally don’t talk to people this much so like,,, consider yourself lucky. And everything that’s been said or done never leaves this stairwell.” John knew Alex wouldn’t talk but he just had to make sure. He saw Alex nod from the corner of his eye and felt slight relief. He was done. No more talking about his emotions or crying. Maybe now the questions would be done and he could shut himself back down. His happy self would show back up since that’s the one everybody knew. He needed to stop talking to Alex before he found out too much honestly. There’s so much more stuff that went unheard John was sure that if Alex found out everything it’s scare him off. He thought to change the subject. “I feel bad for Maria. I wish we could get her to leave that dude. Reynolds is such an asshole but she’s so scared of him she can’t bring herself to leave. Eliza’s been trying to get her away since she met her but it’s not working. Someone needed to put that dude in his place. I offered but Maria begged me to stay out of it and I didn’t want to upset her.” He told him. Though he was using this conversation as a distraction it was true. Reynolds was the worst and Maria deserved better. Way better. Alexander nodded. 

 

"How many openly gay people are at this school?" he asked, pulling himself up to a sitting position. John looked at him. 

 

“Umm, I’m not sure. Herc is bi and practically flew out the closet, and Peggy said she’s questioning but she’s not sure yet. That’s all I really know.” He told him. 

 

"Maybe..." Alexander wondered. "Maybe Guys aren't for her!" John gasped. 

 

"Ohmygod you're right!" Alex laughed. 

 

"Okay, but in all seriousness we need to help her. I don't know how to handle this." Alex took a yellow slip from his pocket. 

 

"How did you get that? Only Herc has them!" He looked amazed. 

 

"Slight of hand! Where I come from, it's how you survive." Alex's voice dropped as though he was hiding his past. He cleared his throat and smiled again. "So! How do you write these things?" John giggled and gestured for a pen. Alexander obliged and gave him a piece of paper. 

 

"Next class?" he asked. Alex went to grab his schedule sheet but hesitated. He takes out a small bit of paper and a purple pen. John looks at him skeptically but continues with the paper. Alexander writes down his name and number and folds the sheet in half so much that you can't tell what's inside. "Here you go, Alex. I didn't put the teacher or anything since you decided to write something down instead of giving me your schedule. BUT I have your pass." Alexander looked at him and blushed a little. 

 

"Yeah.. thanks." He looks up to blushing and takes the slip from John's soft fingers. "Yeah so... I'll be going I guess? Text me!" He said when he was half way out the door. John looked confused at him. 

 

"But I don't have your number!" 

 

"Check your pocket!" Alex left and John checked all of his pockets. He found the sheet of paper in his left, front pocket. 

 

"Huh" he chuckled. John watched the door close behind Alex and smiled to himself.  _‘Wow it’s really happening. I’m so gay for this dude.’_  He pulled his hoodie over his head to hide his face even though there was no one there anymore. “God damnit. This is going to end poorly.” He said to himself. 

 

“What’s gunna end poorly?” 

 


	4. Chapter 4

John quickly looked to find Peggy looking down at him with a confused expression. “Peggy! It’s the middle of class what are you doing here?!” He asked. 

 

“I could ask you the same question. I have a free period. What are you doing? Are you alright?” She asked kneel down in front of him. 

 

“I-I’m fine.” He answered. Peggy frowned. 

 

“You don’t sound fine.” Her face lit up as she got an idea. “I know who could help! Eliza and Angelica! They have the same free period as me come on!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He quickly grabbed his things before she pulled him out the stairwell. 

 

“Look Pegs you really don’t have to-“ 

 

“Nonsense it’s fine! Plus Eliza hasn’t gotten to see you today yet!” She interrupted his protest and led him into the library and over to a couch where Angelica and Eliza were sitting. 

 

“That was quick Pegs, where’d you go?” Before Peggy could answer the question Eliza noticed John was there and gasped. 

 

“Jackie hi! I’ve been trying to find you all day!” She pulled him into a hug which he returned. Angelica stood up and gave him one too. 

 

“I didn’t known this was your free period. Why are you just now getting here?” Angelica asked. 

 

“Actually it isn’t. I’m supposed to be in class right now.” He told them quietly. Angelica raised her eyebrow at him and put her hand on her hip. 

 

“And why aren’t you?” She truly sounded like the older sister. 

 

“Because something’s obviously wrong.” Peggy said. 

 

“No it’s not. Pegs I told you I’m fine.” John told her. 

 

“No you’re not Jackie. Now we’re gunna sit and talk.” She sat down on the couch across from her sisters and pulled John down with her. Angelica and Eliza sat too. 

 

“So John, what’s up?” Angelica asked. 

 

“It’s nothing seriously! This is all unnecessary.” He told them. Angelica and Eliza shared a look. 

 

“Doubtful.” Eliza said to him. He let out a sigh. 

 

“It’s just family stuff, nothing I can’t handle come on guys.” As he looked between the three girls he saw that they were nowhere close to buying this. _‘Why do they always know everything? It’s weird.’_ They waited for him to talk which he didn’t plan on doing anytime soon. Eliza looked at John with sadness then immediately shook it away and looked deep into his eyes. John seemed to squirm under her intense gaze. Suddenly, she gasped and jerked away from him, smiling. 

 

"You like someone, don't you!" He looked at her horrified and she knew she nailed it. Next to her, Angelica screeched. 

 

"What?? Come on school just began!" 

 

"Look at him! He's blushing!" Peggy exclaimed while jumping up and down. John scooted backwards. Angelica turned to her youngest sister. 

 

"Of course he is! You just accused him of something totally random and personal!" Peggy rolled her eyes and Eliza sat guiltily and looked at John. 'Sorry' she mouthed to him. He gave her a hesitant smile thought turned out more like a grimace. She thought of another topic and blushed. 

 

"Hey, Jackie?" she asked quietly. He looked at her. 

 

"Yeah?" She started picking at her acrylic nails. 

 

"Who was that new guy you were talking to earlier?" Eliza blushed and looked at her best friend while her sisters kept bickering. John stammered then answered. 

 

“O-oh, that’s Alex.” He told her. 

 

“Alex.” Eliza repeated the name with a smile. 

 

“Yeah. Alexander Hamilton. He’s a transfer student, sophomore. Laf, Herc, and I met him this morning. So did Peggy.” Eliza looked over to Peggy. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew him?!” She asked. 

 

“I didn’t think you’d care so much. Why do you?” Peggy smirked at her sister who looked away blushing. 

 

“I don’t.” 

 

“Ooo yes you do. Aw does someone have a crush?” Peggy asked. John felt his heart sink.  _‘She likes Alex?’_  He looked away as Angelica and Peggy teased Eliza for her little crush.  _‘Of course she’s like him, he is cute. And if he’d date anyone it’d be Eliza. I mean she’s really pretty.’_  He looked at Eliza who was blushing as she talked to her sisters. She’s his friend, he should help her. 

 

“I can talk to him for you. If you want.” He offered. Her eyes widened. 

 

“You’d do that for me?” She asked. 

 

“Of course.” He said with a smile.  _‘Faker.’_  She smiled and hugged him. 

 

“Oh thank you John!” 

 

“No problem.” 

 

He felt a pain in his chest. 

 

“I think you and Alex would be cute together!” Peggy said. 

 

His heart hurt more. 

 

“I can see it.” Angelica said. She was really the only calm one right now. John stood up. 

 

“I gotta go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” 

 

He walked out the library and got out his phone. He texted Laf to met him. He was the only person he was out to so he was really the only person to talk to. Peggy continued to talk to Eliza about her crush. 

 

“You two would be goals, I already have your ship name. Hamliza. It’s perfect.” 

 

—

 

Lafayette took out his phone when it buzzed in the middle of Global Perspectives class. "Mon ami why now?" he mumbled as he looked at the contact that popped up on the screen. He pulled up the messages and read it.

 

**'meet me in the stairwell'.**

 

He sighed and his phone buzzed again. 

 

**'It's an emergency'.**

 

Great. He raised his hand to go to the bathroom and set out for the stairwell where they first met. Despite being fluent in English, he preferred to speak his native language, French. He neared the stairs and saw John pacing and wringing his hands. He jogged over and John ran to hug him. "What has happened?" Marquis said while regaining balance from the impact of John who was still clinging to him. John looked up with teary eyes and whispered.

 

"I'm gay." Laf could barely hold in his laugh. He giggled and held John to his chest. 

 

"Who is the lucky man to have taken your heart, mon ami?" John released Laf to take out the note from Alexander and gave it to him. He read it and gasped. "And what is so bad about this?! It's a good thing he's not ugly." John blushed and took a shaky breath. 

 

"Eliza likes him." Lafayette's face immediately dropped. 

 

"Oh, mon pauvre garçon. My poor boy." John's head fell into his chest and Laf started petting his hair. He paused briefly. "Are you aware there is a French braid in your ponytail?" This seemed to make John cry harder. "What's the rating?" he asked after several minutes of consoling. 

 

"I think I'm at stage 4." John whispered. Lafayette gasped. 

 

"But you have never been past stage 2! Oh, poor boy." He sat with the sobbing teen in his arms and mulled things over. If Eliza liked Alexander and John knew this, he would throw away his shot at Alex for that girl. What a good friend. What a poor lover. "I'll talk to Alexander for you." 

 

"Shhh!!" He shot up. Laf cleared his throat. 

 

"Fine. I'll talk to the VIP for you." John looked up. 

 

"You'd do that for me?" He smiled a little. 

 

"Only if you help me with a situation I have... what do you say?" John wiped his eyes and nodded. 

 

“Yeah of course. What’s your situation?” He asked. Laf let out a nervous laugh. 

 

“It has to do with Herc.” John couldn’t help but smirk. 

 

“Really? And what about our beloved Hercules?” He asked. Laf got nervous and John couldn’t help but smile. It was so painfully obvious that Laf had a thing for Herc. It’s been obvious since they met him freshman year he’s surprised Herc hasn’t noticed, everyone else has. Peggy, Angelica, Eliza, hell even Aaron Burr knew. The only one that didn’t was Herc and honestly it got tiring watching the two of them flirt without knowing the other was, well, flirting. “Because if it’s about wanting to tell him something now would be the time. He is a senior.” That probably wasn’t the best thing to say because it made John a bit upset to think about one of his best friends leaving soon and Laf obviously felt the same. “Here’s to hoping he sticks around for a bit.” He added. “But really, what about Herc?” John asked again. 

 

"Well," Laf started. "Herc is very naive despite his age and beauty and I think he needs a little push in the right direction. Y'know?" John looked at him and laughed a bit. 

 

"Sure. Whatever." 

 

"So you'll do it??" John nodded and Laf bounced around in joy. 

 

"And you'll talk to... um. Alex for me?" Laf stopped and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. 

 

"Of course, my friend. I will make him fall in love with you! But a word of advice: if you want him, don't make him think that you don't by taking about Eliza too much." John nodded and blushed. "I need to go to class and get my things before the bell. Au revoir!" And he made his way trying not to skip back to class. John laughed as he watched Laf leave. He really did have great friends. He decided against going back in the library and instead finally went to class. His teacher would be mad but he didn’t really care. As he went down the main stairs Maria came out of the stairwell. She was out of breath and fixed her hair so that more of it covered the right of her face. She went into the library, wanting to be somewhere quiet but with people. She noticed the Schuyler sisters all sitting on the couch talking and laughing. She smiled to herself and thought of going over there but stopped herself. Sure she knew them but they’d ask questions. And honestly she wasn’t in a talkative mood. She tried to walk past them unnoticed but she could pretty much only see out of her left eye at the moment so she ended up walking into one of the tables. She went to continue walking but she had already caught their attention. 

 

“Hi Maria.” Peggy said smiling. She turned around. 

 

“Oh… hi.” She nervously played with the ends of her hair and kept pushing it in front of her face. Angelica looked up at the bump from a table a few yards away and Peggy called Maria over. 

 

"It's alright you can sit with us." she said and moved over so that she would be next to Eliza and Peggy. She sat next to them shyly. "So how have you been?" Angelica asked. Maria's wall went up and the sisters all saw it. 

 

"Oh I'm... I'm fine." Angelica looked at Eliza and nodded. Eliza nodded back and turned back to Maria. She placed a hand on her knee and bent forward. 

 

"I'm here for you if you need me." Angelica heard her sister say. 

 

"O-okay." was the shaky reply. Eliza blushed and looked away. Angelica caught this and her eyes immediately snapped up. 

 

"What's wrong, Eliza?" Eliza looked at Angelica and blushed harder at being caught. 

 

"Oh i-it's nothing." Peggy and Maria looked over. 

 

"What happened?!" Peggy jumped in. Eliza looked over to them embarrassed and finally said, 

 

"Well it's stupid, but it's really cute when Maria plays with her hair. It just looks so beautiful." Maria blushed and her jaw dropped. Peggy jumped up. Angelica raised her eyebrows and looked away, saying nothing. "Well do you have a problem with me liking her hair? Geez! I'm not... gay, you know. You people!" She quickly did the sign of the cross and left with a seriously pink face. Angelica glanced at Peggy with a warning glare. 

 

"So that was exciting." She started. Angelica gave a small nod of appreciation.  _'Maybe this whole thing with Alexander is over... if Eliza goes to Maria that means Alex is free and I won't hurt my sister's feelings! I have to get those girls together.'_  Angelica thought. Maria just sat on the bench between them in shock. 

 

"Are you okay, dear?" Angelica touched her shoulder gently and Maria bolted upright. 

 

"I've got to go." She said before she sped away. 

 

"Ah," Peggy leaned back and propped her feet on a chair. "Young love." Angelica rolled her eyes. “Is it just me or is everybody gay? Cause same.” Peggy asked. Angelica raised an eyebrow at Peggy and she realized what she said. “I-I mean besides me… and you. I mean I don’t know if you are or maybe I do I don’t know I’m not assuming anything but like,, um… I’m not saying the right things right now am I?” Angelica gave a small laugh and smiled at Peggy. 

 

“No you’re really not. If there something you want to tell me Pegs?” She asked. 

 

“As soon as I figure out what it is then sure.” Peggy said giving her the finger guns. Angelica laughed and ruffled her sister’s hair. “But all jokes aside, do you think Eliza has a thing for Maria? I know she said she liked Alex but you can’t really ignore the way she looked at her.” Peggy asked. 

 

“Who knows, maybe.” Was all Angelica said. 

 

—

 

Maria hurried out of the library and ended up running right into someone and fell to the ground. She sat up and pushed her hair from her face out of habit. 

 

“Maria?” She looked up and saw Eliza looking down at her, shock written all over her face. Maria realized, her hair was moved. She could see it all. The black eye, the busted lip, the bruised cheek.  _‘Shit.’_  Eliza looked at Maria with a hatred. Not for Maria but for her douchebag of a "fiancé". Eliza grabbed Maria's arms and hoisted her up. "You've got to be joking me" she mumbled furiously. Maria spoke up 

 

"Oh it's not what it looks like. You see, I wasn't doing what he told me and  when I finally showed up he wasn't in a good mood. He said sorry! It's okay. I forgave him. He told me he would never do it again. It was an accident." Eliza's face was growing redder and redder and nothing Maria was saying was helpful. Maria was pleading and she hastily fixed her hair. "See? It's gone. No one needs to know. Magic!" Eliza took a deep breath and Maria immediately fell silent. 

 

"I take back everything I said earlier about how I like when you mess with your hair. It looks so much better pulled back. If only you could." she said in an icy voice. Maria's blood froze and Eliza was shaking. She was staring at Maria. "Show me." Maria pulled her hair back a little. "Not there." Her heart sank as Maria started silently crying and slowly pulled down her shirt collar. Eliza gasped and Maria pulled her waistband down some. She pulled up her sleeves. Eliza quickly grabbed Maria before she could turn her arms so that the forearms would face up. Maria gasped but realized that it wasn't violent at all... Eliza pulled her into a fierce hug. When she pulled away, she looked deep into Maria's honey-brown eyes and spoke softly. "Let yourself heal. Scars fade slowly. With help, fresh wounds can go away quickly. Let me be your help. Please." She quickly but softly kissed her wounded cheek. "Don't forget." she said before she ran away to cry in the bathroom and think about Maria and Alexander. 

 

Maria watched Eliza leave and felt her heart breaking. It’d be a fucking lie if she said she didn’t love that girl. She hated James. She hated him so much it burned. She wanted him to burn. All he did was use and abuse her then act like it was ok. It wasn’t and she knew this but at the same time she was terrified of him. All these people telling her to leave him, that she deserves better, that it’ll be ok, they knew nothing. He wasn’t just a bad person he was an awful man. She couldn’t just leave, her hurt her, more than what he does now. She knew damn well he was capable of doing much more than hitting her. If she told him off or tried to get rid of him she wouldn’t live to graduate. She didn’t want to date him, she didn’t even want to marry him, she just didn’t have a choice. Sadly some people still did arranged marriages and didn’t care if it hurt their kids. She was stuck with him. For the rest of her life this is how it would be. She didn’t love him. Hell she didn’t even love men. She was gay and had known since the sixth grade. She’d be completely screwed if James or her mom found out. It’s be worse. Oh it’d be so much worse. He’d probably break something. _‘I don’t know where to go, I’m alone.’_  She sat against the wall and felt tears form in her eyes. _‘I don’t want this to be my life.’_  

 

“Maria.” 

 

She flinched at the voice, already knowing who it belonged to. James glared down at her, his hands in fist. “I told you to clean yourself up then come back to the car. What the fuck are you doing?” She wiped her eyes. 

 

“I-I’m sorry. I got distracted and-“ He grabbed her by the arm and yanked her up. 

 

“Don’t apologize unless you mean it. I don’t want to hear your shitty excuses.” His voice was low and threatening. 

 

“I’m sorry I really am.” She started crying again and he tightened his grip on her. 

 

“You’re pathetic. Next time do what I tell you. Get to the car, I’m already late to meet people because of you.” He pushed her towards the stairs and she nearly fell over. She caught herself on the rail and slowly started walking. “God can you pick up the fucking pace.” He pushed her forward and she had to stop herself from falling on the ground. 

 

—

 

Peggy turned around and saw them in the hall from her seat in the library. She saw James grab Maria’s neck and push her forward and gasped. She looked to the front desk and saw it was empty. Her and Angelica were the only people in the library. “Angelica look.” She got her sisters attention and pointed James and Maria. Angelica’s gaze went dark and she slammed her book shut. 

 

“That motherfucker.” She got up and stormed out the library and over to them. Peggy quickly followed knowing damn well Angelica was going to break this man if she got the chance. 


	5. Chapter 5

Angelica stormed over to James as Eliza did something on her phone. James didn't seem to hear or see any of them. When Angelica got close enough, she slapped him. He whipped his head over and released Maria in shock. She staggered backwards and Peggy caught her. Angelica was beyond furious. "You are such a fucking asshole! Do you know how much pain this poor girl is in?! I bet that's why you did it. You're that, sick, disgusting kinky person aren't you. Yeah, well, too bad Maria isn't. At least she has a head on her shoulders! You're just a fucking moron that can't handle his own problems so he takes them out on one of the many people that doesn't love him! I bet that makes you more angry, huh? That no one likes you? And you think that by treating this young lady poorly that you are getting revenge on everyone else? That's not true. I will rise up but you will always be alone." Angelica looked at Eliza and she nodded. She turned back and smiled. "And behind bars." As if on cue, sirens rang through the empty halls and red and blue lights flashed everywhere. James looked up and looked defeated for once. "There's nothing you can do now, asshole." He looked at Maria and appeared next to her before anyone could stop him. 

 

"At least let me help her once before I go." Peggy hesitated from in front of Maria then gave away for fear of being hit, much to Angelica's disappointment. Maria tried to back away but tripped in her 6 inch heels and fell on her butt. James found his moment and immediately started kicking her stomach. Maria yelled out and Eliza, of all people, stormed over but he was ready this time and stopped kicking Maria just to slap Eliza for a split second. He continued to kick her as Peggy yelled out at him and Eliza ran behind Angelica. She held her sisters close and prayed. 

 

"You're mean! And Maria is so much better than you! You should be grateful she stayed this long!" Peggy was screaming at him with such violence that saliva was flying out of her mouth. Maria began to bleed under her short skirt. Eliza gasped from behind her older sister. Maria screamed in agony as James gave one final kick. A small pool of blood started forming around her skirt and the sisters rushed over to help as the police appeared and quickly had James detained. 

 

"I did something right! Just ask Maria!" he said before he got out of earshot. Eliza, who had disappeared to get paper towels, now returned with many in her arms. She sobbed and started cleaning up the blood which was now at Maria's feet. People with a gurney came in and immediately ushered the sisters away. Since Maria was screaming in agony, the medical professionals turned to the sisters and asked.

 

"What happened?" Eliza stared at Maria with wet cheeks as they put her onto the gurney. 

 

"She's having a miscarriage." she whispered. Peggy stared with wide eyes as she saw the trail of blood. Angelica waited patiently by as a tear slipped down her cheek and she hugged her sisters close. 

 

"We have room for one to accompany her. We need more information, too." Angelica opened her mouth when she saw Eliza climbing in the truck after the gurney. 

 

"I'll do it." she said. Angelica wiped away a tear and nodded proudly at her little sister while holding the youngest to her side. Peggy waved goodbye to Eliza as the ambulance peeled out of the school parking lot and down the road. Angelica gave Peggy a squeeze and turned her around to go inside. As they walked back towards the library to collect their things before lunch, they realized that while all the commotion was happening, the nurses or whoever was in the ambulance cleaned up the blood. _'I would've liked to help some.'_  Angelica thought. But now it's up to her sister to keep Maria safe. She turned to Peggy. 

 

"Would you like to go home? I'll drive us to the hospital and we can call Father to tell him why we are skipping our classes. Sounds good?" Peggy looked up with wide eyes. She nodded and Angelica almost cried: Peggy almost never stops talking but now you couldn't even hear her breathing even though her chest was heaving. Several kids were sticking their heads out of nearby classrooms and everyone in the library had come out. Apparently one of the onlookers knew the two of three sisters and rushed over to them. He hugged them. 

 

"Are you alright, my filles mon chéris?" Laf looked at them closely and ushered them past masses of people to help them get their stuff. A teacher came out of one of the halls and looked around. He spotted Lafayette with Angelica and Peggy and quickly went over to them. 

 

"Stop!" He looked at them and they turned around. 

 

"Sir?" Angelica said. 

 

"I'm Mr. Washington. You'll have to explain what just happened before you go anywhere." Lafayette pushed the girls inside as he turned to the teacher. 

 

"Monsieur!" Mr. Washington rolled his eyes. 

 

"It's protocol. Lady's! If you'll come with me." The four walked down the hall into the front office where the staff should have been. They walked into the counselor's room and started filing a witness case one at a time. Mr. Washington read the cases and his face went white. After reading all of them, his entire appearance changed. "Kids..." they looked up at him and Peggy was crying. "When I turn back around, you'd better be in the way to the hospital." He turned his back towards them. Angelica realized what he was saying and quickly grabbed Peggy and Laf. They sprinted down the hall and out the door. Angelica quickly found her car and the others hopped in. 

 

"Buckle." she said and both stopped in fear as she narrowed her eyes at them. Angelica revved the engine and heard two clicks. She drove off to the hospital. 

 

Eliza held Maria’s hand as they rode in the ambulance. The paramedics started asking questions. 

 

“How far along were you?” They asked Maria. 

 

“Two months.” She answered. The paramedic looked at her, pity clear in their  eyes. 

 

“How old are you hun?” They asked. 

 

“Fifteen.” Maria’s voice was quiet. The paramedics all shared a look before continuing what they were doing. Maria gripped Eliza’s hand and gently pulled her closer. “Thank you but… I don’t think this is over. This isn’t the first time he’s been arrested. He’s horrible but he’s smart, and he has money. He can find ways out of this he has before. He’ll be back and it’ll be worse.” She whispered it so only Eliza would hear. Eliza who had many tears of her own hugged Maria while making sure not to get in the paramedics way. Eventually she had to let go as they put an oxygen mask on her. She held one of Maria’s hands with both of hers and kissed it. She made a promise to herself to protect this girl. 

 

—

 

Students watched from the windows as the lights and sounds of the ambulance slowly disappeared. 

 

“What the hell just happened?” Herc asked as he stared out the window of his class in disbelief. 

 

“I have no idea.” John said from beside him. The teacher tapped her desk to get everyone’s attention. 

 

“Alright everyone just calm down. I just got word we are going to dismiss the class early so just wait here as phone calls go out to parents and you can only leave once they are here to pick you up. If you ride the bus you can head out now.” She told them. A few people grabbed their things and left while others took their seats. Herc grabbed his stuff and went to leave. 

 

“Wait where are you going?” John asked him. 

 

“To catch the bus.” Herc told him. 

 

“Damnit, well if my phone doesn’t get taken call me later so we can finish what we were talking about.” Herc gave him a thumbs up and left. John wondered if anyone knew what was going on. He turned in his seat to face two girls behind him. 

 

“Do you know what’s going on?” He asked them. 

 

“Well my friend just texted me and said they arrested that Reynolds guy.” She said. 

 

“Woah really?” Her friend asked. 

 

“Yeah!” She answered. “And that his girlfriend, Mary or whatever her name is, got taken in the ambulance.” She finished. 

 

“I heard that she’s pregnant.” Her friend said. 

 

“Really? Wow what a whore.” John looked at them in disgust and stood up. 

 

“You shouldn’t talk shit about people. And her names Maria.” He said before leaving and sitting somewhere else. _‘Why the hell are people like that? How could you gossip over that?’_  He thought to himself. The realization of what they said though finally hit him. Reynolds was arrested? Maria’s in the hospital? Was she ok? He thought she had left earlier. That’s what she told Alex and him. Does anyone know what happened? He pulled out his phone and went to the first contact and hoped they knew something. 

 

**‘Alex do you know what the fuck is going on? I just heard that Reynolds was arrested and Maria’s in the hospital’**

 

He texted him. He sat and hoped that Alex would respond before his parents came and got him because then he’d be too into his own shit to worry about someone else. 

 

—

 

Alexander looked at the unknown number on his phone screen.  _'I'm guessing this isn't Andy from the thrift store in Hawaii?'_  He went to the contact and put Johnny Boy as the first name. Then he read the messages. 

 

"Probably should have read those first..."  Someone walked over to him. 

 

"What's up?" Alex looked up and saw a kid that he had met at a Wawa. He had accidentally punched a guy he knew a few days earlier and came to apologize and ask for advice. He stopped to think of his name... 

 

"Burr!" 

 

"Sir!" he responded with a smile. 

 

"I didn't expect to see you here." Alex gave him a high five. 

 

"To be sure, sir. Nor did I! But we get to see each other a lot more now. We have this class together, after all. So who are you talking to?" Alex gave him his phone. Burr gasped and gave it back. "So that's why the teachers are dismissing us now." 

 

"I love my first day." Burr chuckled. "Why don't you give me a ride to the hospital when we are done here? Heard you've got your own car." Alex nodded then stopped as an icy chill dripped down his spine. "No." 

 

"What?" 

 

"I'm sorry. You can take a bus. I'm not going." Burr looked at him with shock. Just as he was about to say something, Alex interrupted him. "I need to get home and I'm not in the mood." he looked down. Burr knew something was wrong. 

 

"You may want to answer back if you are going to let me go on the stinky bus." he said looking at the phone. Alex nodded and tapped out 

 

**'No clue... wish I could go help but have chores'.**

 

Burr nodded. "Well!" he said, catching his attention. "Have you met Eliza? Pretty lady in blue?" Alex nodded, confused at where this was going. "I don't think she's straight." he whispered and Alex raised his eyebrows. 

 

"Really?" Aaron nodded. 

 

"I suspect she's at least bi." he confirmed. Alex nodded. 

 

"I wouldn't really be surprised. There's a lot of girls around here that probably have crushes on her. She's pretty. Not my type though." Burr nodded. 

 

"I'm the same way about some girls around here... but they certainly do possess a lot of love!" he winked at Alexander and he gave a halfhearted laugh. 

 

"I'm sorry... I'm a bit distracted right now." The teacher signaled for the kids to leave and Alex immediately stood up. "Good to meet you again, Burr. I'll see you tomorrow." 

 

"Bye, Hamilton." he waved and Alex walked away. He got out of the school and quickly found his car. He got in, threw his stuff in the back, and slouched in his seat. 

 

"God, help my mom get better. She's so close to recovering and I... I can't lose her too. I'm better. She can't... please." Alex cried. He put the key in the ignition, buckled, then drove home to his dying mother. 


	6. Chapter 6

John sat in his seat waiting till he got picked up. He wished they would let him go now, or at least go outside. Jemmy and Mary were supposed to walk from the middle school to meet them and he wanted to be outside to wait for them. He pulled out his phone to text them when the teacher called his name. 

 

“Your mothers here.” His mom. He couldn’t help but give a sigh of relief as he left the room. At least it wasn’t his father. Henry Jr and Martha were waiting for him at his locker. 

 

“Yo John why is father pissed at you?” Henry asked as they walked outside. 

 

“The more important question is why he was smoking weed in the first place.” Martha said sternly. 

 

“You smoke?! Dude the hell? We can’t get away with stuff like that you should’ve seen this coming.” He turned to them. 

 

“Guys chill, I’m already gunna get it from father. I’m the oldest why am I the one on trial?” Martha put a hand on her hip. 

 

“Because we’re not the ones doing drugs.” John rolled his eyes at her. 

 

“Where are Mary and Jemmy?” He asked. Henry Jr pointed to them getting into a car, a woman closed the door behind them. They made their way over there. 

 

“Hi mom.” 

 

“Hey mom.”

 

 Martha and Henry Jr gave their mom a kiss on the cheek before getting in the car. John was slower to go over to her. 

 

“Look mom-“ She held up her hand to stop him. 

 

“I’m not… that mad. Not as mad as your father. I cooled him down a bit and offered to pick you guys up so we can only hope for the best. Remember the rules: don’t talk until he tells you, don’t just give excuses, defend yourself if he lets you, and apologize. Got it?” He nodded. “Good.” She kissed the top of his head before he got in the car. Eleanor was a good woman. John never understand why their parents married. 

 

As they drove home John couldn’t help but feel nervous. It didn’t help that his siblings kept giving him worried looks. When they walked through the front door all the other kids went upstairs knowing they wouldn’t be allowed to be down there right now. John’s father, Henry Laurens, was waiting in the kitchen. 

 

“Sit.” He said to John. John did as he was told and Eleanor went to stand behind her husband, per usual. “What the hell were you thinking? Of all the disrespectful things any of you kids have done this is the worse. Drugs? Are you serious? How could you disrespect the family like this? I cannot even begin to explain how mad I am. What if one of your siblings had found it before we did? You are the oldest John you have a responsibility. You have to set an example and right now you are doing a horrible job. For once can you do something right?” Henry’s hand gripped the chair in front of him tightly. “Defend yourself.” He told John. John looked up and stood. 

 

“You are completely right Sir. I am so sorry I had no right to do what I did. I have made a mockery of our family name and it will never happen again Sir.” He sent a quick glance to his mother and saw her give a small smile. He did good. 

 

“Who gave it to you?” John looked at his father in slight shock and so did his mother. Neither of them though he’d ask that. 

 

“Sir I-“ 

 

“Who sold it to you?” John sighed. 

 

“I cannot say.” Henry narrowed his eyes. 

 

“You can’t say?” John took a deep breath. 

 

“I cannot and will not sell them out like that Sir.” There was a solid minute of silence where John could hear his heartbeat. Henry walked over to John and held his hand out. John, knowing what it meant handed over his phone. 

 

“Upstairs. You’re a disgrace.” As those words cut into him John headed for the stairs, ignoring the hurt look his mother gave him. He walked into his room only to find all of his siblings in there. 

 

“Care to play a game?” Mary smiled and held up a pack of Uno cards. John smiled and sat down to play with them. They played a few rounds before Eleanor came in. 

 

“Can I talk to John alone please?” She asked. Mary collected the cards and left the room with the others following. Eleanor sat down on his bed next to him. 

 

“Rough first day of school huh? That poor girl.” John kept his head down while she continued to talk. “You know humans are strange beings. People like that man, your father, we can never really understand why they do what they do. Sometimes… sometimes people are just bad. But what I can’t understand is why. Why were you smoking John?” He finally looked up at her. 

 

“It calms me down. When everything just gets too much.” He told her. 

 

“Is it getting worse?” She asked. He nodded. 

 

“Everything has just been throwing me off lately.” He explained. 

 

“There’s better ways though.” When he said nothing she sighed. “How are Hercules and Lafayette?” She asked. He looked at her and smiled a bit. 

 

“They’re good.” She smiled too. 

 

“Hercules is graduating this year right?” He nodded. 

 

“Wow. Seems like just yesterday you boys were so small. I was talking to their mothers and we just talked about when you were kids. I miss those days. You grow up too fast.” She put a hand on his cheek then headed for the door. “I got you to keep your laptop. Said you needed it for school.” John gave a confused look. 

 

“It was the first day we don’t have work.” 

 

“Your father doesn’t know that.” She smiled at him before closing the door. John laughed to himself. He was glad both her and him were better. 

 

—

 

Eliza paced the waiting room floor. Maria was somewhere in one of the many many rooms getting... operated on. Eliza hated saying that. It turns out, James had raped Maria and she had been holding that secret since the very beginning. It's one of the reasons why she stayed; which to any other person might sound crazy. He had finally impregnated her and she was pregnant for a full two months. Before he kicked her. He murdered two lives. One of his child, the other of his fiancé. He killed his fiancé a long time ago. Maria was still being worked on... no that still sounds wrong... because apparently James hadn't finished the job. Some of it was still alive. Eliza whimpered and stopped pacing to say a quick prayer to God for Maria. She hated not being near her. She loved that poor girl more than she'd like to admit. But not in a romantic way! In a... friend way. Eliza was straight. She knew it. Everyone knew it. It wasn't a secret. She had seen pretty girls before but it was only their clothes. Or their smiles. Or their eyes. Or their- stop! It was never because they were a girl. She liked boys. Always has, always will. The door opened and her sisters as well as Lafayette came bursting in. 

 

"Ohmygod where is she? Is she okay? How long have you been away from her?" Peggy rushed to Eliza and tugged on her sleeve. Angelica gave her a hug and asked how she was doing. Lafayette jumped in between the and gave Eliza a giant bear hug. 

 

"Hey guys" Eliza's voice cracked and she attempted to smile. As she smiled, tears filled her eyes so she stopped and quickly dropped her head to avoid bursting into tears. Angelica hugged her and led her over to a bench where she sat down then patted the spot next to her for Eliza to sit down. She obliged then lowered her head in Angelica's lap as Angelica stroked her hair. The scene tugged at Lafayette's heartstrings and he kneeled down in front of them. Peggy grabbed a box of tissues from the end table next to them and sat next to Laf while offering some tissues to everyone. 

 

"Elizabeth Schuyler?" a nurse walked in. "Maria would like to see you now." Eliza looked up and stepped over her friends to get to the nurse. 

 

"O-okay." she said in a shaky voice. "But I thought I wasn't allowed..?" Eliza started. The nurse waved her hand. 

 

"Her mother currently cannot be here and Maria said that you are the closest family she has." Eliza's eyes widened and she nodded her head. 

 

"I want to see her." The nurse smiled and started walking away. 

 

"Follow me please." They stopped at a room with the number 452. Eliza took a deep breath out. "Are you ready?" The nurse glanced down at Eliza and she nodded. 

 

"Please let me see her." The nurse opened the door and held it open for Eliza to step in to the room. "Hey Maria." Eliza smiled and tears filled her eyes but this time she didn't stop smiling. Maria, full of sedatives and pain killers, turned her head over at Eliza and smiled. She ran over to her friend in the hospital cot and hugged her without touching the needles. Maria hugged Eliza back as tight as she could. When they pulled back she saw Eliza was crying and wiped the tears. 

 

“Save the tears I’m not worth it hun.” She told her. That only made Eliza cry more. 

 

“You’re worth so much and you deserve so much too.” She said. Maria smiled at her and hugged her again. 

 

“Thank you Eliza. Oh, and thank Angelica for me please. I’ll admit it was nice for him to be the one getting hit for once.” She gave a small laugh before her fast went serious. “He didn’t hurt any of you, did he?” Eliza looked away. “Eliza. Did he?” She asked again. 

 

“When I tried to get him away from you he slapped me.” Eliza told him. Maria’s face when dark and it scared Eliza. “Maria it’s ok. He’s going to get what he deserves.” She tried to reassure her. Maria looked at her and Eliza couldn’t help but lean away slightly. Anytime you look at Maria she usually looks scared, defeated, a smile from her was rare. But right now, her eyes held intense anger. Eliza couldn’t really believe it. 

 

“Don’t forget what I told you in the ambulance. He’s been arrested before Eliza, and he got out. The only difference is this time… there’s no way in hell he’s coming back to me.” Eliza couldn’t resist the small smile those words gave her. “I put up with him abusing me for years but I will not let him hurt you. Ever.” Maria sat up and took Eliza’s face gently in her hands. “Eliza I am so sorry he did that to you. I swear it will never happen again, not as long as I live. He can hurt me all he wants but you… you’re untouchable.” Eliza felt her face heat up as Maria stared into her eyes. “No one is allowed to hurt you.” She finished. Eliza stuttered over her words and Maria bit her lip. “Sorry, I got a little intense.” Maria let go of Eliza and looked away. 

 

“I-it’s fine.” Eliza stuttered out. Maria looked back at her. _‘This is going to be the dumbest decision I’ve ever made in my life but like, fuck it.’_ She took Eliza’s face in her hands again and kissed her right on the lips. She pulled back after a few seconds and leaned her own forehead on hers. 

 

“Elizabeth Schuyler I’m so fucking gay for you.” Eliza's lips felt like they were on fire with electricity and there were fireworks going off in her brain. She was panting for air and staring blankly at Maria's face which was really close considering their foreheads were touching. Maria released her hands from Eliza's cheeks but she still didn't move away. She didn't know what to do or how to feel. Maria looked into her eyes with a passion that she'd never seen before and it was kind of hot... Their breaths mingled as Eliza caught hers. She let go of a hollow chuckle and smiled a bit. She was slightly sweaty as she sat down into a chair by the bed. Maria seemed oddly confident for what she just did. 

 

"H-how are you feeling?" Eliza cleared her throat and tried so hard to act casual from what just happened. Maria looked at the ceiling and giggled. 

 

"James never made me feel like that." she smiled and looked back over at Eliza. 

 

"Uh.. I uh.. um... the the the... the operation uh... how'd it go?" Eliza turned red and her heart sounded like a bass drum in her ears. Maria's smile dropped. 

 

"Fine. Eliza, how are yo-" Eliza held up a hand to silence her. Maria's expression turned very worried. Eliza looked dead ahead at the floor as she spoke. "I've never been kissed before." There was a long pause. Eliza started to cry. Maria looked at her with worry. 

 

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I'll dropout. I'll change schools. You'll never have to see me again. Please don't cry." Eliza put her head on the side of the bed as Maria tried to console her. 

 

"I'm just so confused!" She said as she sobbed. Maria's heart melted and her vision went blurry. 

 

"Why?" Her voice cracked. 

 

"I love you. So much. I've never loved anyone before. But I swore I was straight. But damnit, Maria, you are my exception. I thought I liked Alexander today because something about him caught my eye. He had a bow in his hair tie." Eliza sobbed harder. "I saw his stupid bow! I've never liked a man in my life. You're it for me." Eliza looked up at Maria who was also sobbing. "Maria?" She nodded and smiled warmly. "I really like you." Maria laughed. They dried their tears and held hands. "Maria?" 

 

"Hm?" she gazed warmly at her gay lover. Eliza took a shaky breath. "I don't think we should date." Maria's face dropped. "At least not yet. You need to get used to being your own person. You just got out of an abusive relationship and had a miscarriage. I only just learned that I'm gay. We need time. I love you but we need to take time to think." Maria looked down and nodded. She nodded vigorously then let go of Eliza's hand and looked at her. 

 

"I've known I was gay since I was in 6th grade. You probably don't even know exclusively yet. You learned that you liked girls today. I don't like it, but I know you are right and I... I have to respect that. I really love you, Eliza. I loved you since the 8th grade. That's a long time to wait. But I... I know you." Eliza looked at Maria with cautious joy but hugged her nonetheless. While in the embrace, Eliza hesitated but then went for it and pecked Maria's hurt cheek. 

 

"Is it okay if I stay here?" She looked up at her. Maria smiled, 

 

"Do you think I'm going to say no?" Eliza blushed and smiled, too. 

 

"So how are you?" She gingerly put a hand on Maria's stomach and started rubbing it, comfortingly. Maria’s smile dropped and she looked down. 

 

“Can I be honest with you Eliza?” Eliza nodded. “I didn’t want to keep it, for so many reasons. I didn’t consent to it, I’m only fifteen, it was with him, I don’t know how to care for a child, I can’t be a mother, I would’ve been bringing them into an awful household, I just… I just couldn’t. But he made me.” She wiped her eyes. “I can’t talk about this I’m sorry I just can’t.” Eliza took her hand. 

 

“It’s ok. We don’t have to.” Maria smiled at her again. 

 

“Thanks. Did you come here by yourself?” She asked her. Eliza shook her head. 

 

“Lafayette, Angelica, and Peggy are here.” She told her. 

 

“You all came here for me?” Maria asked. 

 

“Of course. We care about you Maria.” Maria let out a small laugh. 

 

“Why? What did I ever do to deserve you guys?” Eliza placed a hand on her cheek. 

 

“You existed. That’s enough for you to deserve everything good in life.” Maria laughed again. 

 

“I can’t even get my own mother to care yet you guys just always have. Right when you met me you cared. You and your sisters always offering to let me stay with you. Lafayette, Hercules, and John would and still do offer to walk me to class or home, hell John even offered to fight James on multiple occasions. Even fucking Thomas Jefferson tried to punch James once! Not to mention that new guy, Alexander, was a sweetheart from the start. I just never understand it. I never understand why you all bothered to care about me of all people.” Maria brushed her hair out of her face. “But thank you so much for it. If it weren’t for you guys I’d probably be dead already.” She said it as if it was so normal and common to say. Eliza pulled her into a hug. 

 

“I just want to keep you safe.” 


	7. Chapter 7

John laid in his bed staring at his phone with his finger hovering over the screen. He wanted to call Alex. He wanted to talk to him. He felt like after what he had seen that day, after he helped him, he deserved an explanation. “Maybe not the whole truth but some of it.” He tapped the screen and held it to his ear as it ringed.  _‘Please answer.’_

_—_

 

Alex brought a damp towelette to his mother who was laying down in her bed and placed it on her forehead. She had been like this for four months now. He and his mother both got the sickness at the same time but he seemed to recover while his mother had progressively gotten worse. Alexander quietly stepped out of the room and shut the door behind him. He slowly let out a deep breath and walked to the bathroom to wash his hands. Alex was the only one capable of doing work but they had only moved here two months ago. He had gotten some day jobs and done some services for people and that seemed to offer enough money to pay the bills. Because of this, he had gotten extremely good at forgery. He wiped his hands on his pants since they only had a couple towels but they were currently being used. He walked out and into his room on the far side of the house and tried to find his phone. He grabbed it off his bed and sat on the edge. With his mom like this, there was never a time to relax. He looked at his phone and saw that someone was calling him. The name 'Johnny Boy' was on the screen and he smiled. Just as he was about to click 'Accept Call', the screen went black. _'Shit!'_ He missed the call. He opened his phone and and found the contact again. He clicked the phone symbol and put the phone on his ear, cradling it. 

 

"Alex?" The voice on the other line said. He relaxed at the sound of his voice. 

 

"Yeah it's me. What's up?" He flipped over on his stomach and had his feet swaying in the air just like a girl. 

 

"I need to talk to you. I need to be honest." Alexander's heart stopped and he nervously laughed. 

 

"Is this good or bad because I don't think now's the best time to-" 

 

"No, it's not bad. For you... sorry." He let out his breath that he didn't know he was holding. 

 

"Ok good! I didn't want anything bad happening to us. You're a really cool person." Alexander smiled. He could hear John's hollow chuckle on the other line. It still sounded like music. "Oh, hey! Before you start talking I just wanted to tell you something. Are you aware that your contact in my phone is the name of a Twenty One Pilots song?" John groaned then giggled. 

 

"What is it?" 

 

“Johnny Boy." He smiled. 

 

"Isn't that song depressing?" 

 

"Eh. Who cares! Some of it is true though y'know?" he paused while he thought for a second then spoke again. "It would be best if I went outside to do this but... sorry it sounds really stupid now. Forget it. Ignore me!" 

 

"What was it?" He could feel John grinning through the phone and his heart soared. 

 

"Fine. I'll sing some of it for you if you'd want." There was a loud bang on the other line then a distant voice. 

 

"I dropped my phone." John whispered, "I'm not supposed to have it right now." Alex giggled. "I want to hear you sing but... not now?" His smile dropped. 

 

"Okay... You were saying something?" John let out a breath. 

 

"Yeah. I was." Alex listened attentively and hung on to every word John spoke. 

 

"I'm ready when you are, Jackie." John took a deep breath. 

 

“About today, the panic attack I had… just thank you, for helping me through that. I um,,, I haven’t really had one since eighth grade so I was really freaked out.” Alex gave a small laugh on the other line. 

 

“It was no problem. You’re my friend, I wanted to help.” John smiled to himself. 

 

“Heh yeah.” His smile wavered a bit. “But that wasn’t all I wanted to say. I think you deserve to know why.” 

 

“Jackie you don’t have to.” 

 

“No it’s fine really it’s just, Laf and Herc are the only people that know certain things. Actually it’s kinda just Laf to be honest. Herc knows some but Laf knows everything… anyway besides the point. I really like you Alex… a-as a friend and I want to be able to keep you in my life but I don’t want you to think I’m like crazy or something. There was a reason behind it. Not a very good one, but a reason nonetheless.” John took another deep breath.  _‘I can’t believe I’m actually telling him this. I met him today!’_ It didn’t matter. As much as he wanted to deny it. As much as he wanted to wish it wasn’t true, he was actually falling for Alexander. He had to be able to talk to him. 

 

“The way my family functions is very different from others. My father is a very big Lawyer and Politician with some very twisted views on things. He strives for nothing but the best and demands that from his kids. And me, being the oldest, has to live up to those expectations… or else I’m in some deep shit. He’s very big in his field so he cares about our image way too much. He doesn’t care who he hurts to get where he wants to be and included in those is his family. I’d honestly be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared of him. I mean even I don’t know what he’s fully capable of. So today when my sister texted me and said he was mad at me, that he found out that I smoke I freaked out. I panicked. I ran out so I could cancel the deal I was supposed to have that day. And when I missed his call,,, that drove me over the edge. I’ve never missed a call from him, I’m not allowed to. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or how to handle it and I just got so scared and… well you saw how that ended.” He gave a weak laugh and wiped some tears that had fell. While it was only quiet for a few seconds it felt like hours to John making him start to panic again. “I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything or told you. This was stupid… god I’m pathetic. I’m so sorry Alexander I’ll just go.” He went to hang up the call but Alex’s voice stopped him. 

 

“Wait don’t.” He heard John sniffle on the phone. "Thank you. For trusting me enough to tell me. I know it's not easy. If I was in your situation! That is... I'm sorry if I worried you. I'm just thinking about what you said. I want to be there for you and what's a friend if you can't tell them anything? I also want to tell you that I- oh no... um... no I need time. I can't tell you now but.. you'll be the first one I tell when I do? I'm sorry that sounds weird. It's just personal stuff and I've never had a friend before. Or people that liked me. My mom was- IS the only one who cares about me. Hell, I dated one girl before and then we broke up after three minutes. Then she died... but that's not important. I won't tell anyone your situation. I promise." He couldn't believe he told him that. Or almost told. Whatever. 

 

"I get it Alex. And thank you. A lot." 

 

"Anytime. At school mostly... I'm always busy at home. If I fall asleep in class or ask you to do my homework for me while I take a nap, I have a reason. Just... if that happens. I can sleep anywhere so you don't have to worry about people being loud." Alex laughed. "You know, Jackie? I really like you. You are a pretty amazing person." he smiled and felt a heat rise in his cheeks. "Um as a friend! Hehe. Uh. Yeah... th-that." Alexander blushed harder and giggled nervously. Then he heard a faint cough and a splatter. His face fell and he jumped of the bed and stood up. "Listen. John? Something came up. I gotta go." He hit end call and threw his phone on his bed before running to get a new towel. When he got to his mom, she was sweating and shaking and covered in vomit. Alex was used to this by now and he knew what to do. He propped up her head and gave her a wipe down with the wet towel. He got a new shirt for her and helped her change out of the old one. By "help" he meant undress for her. She could barely do anything on her own anymore. He wiped her mouth with toilet paper and threw it away. "Hey, Mom. Today was my first day of school. It was exciting. I- I met a boy today and I think we're friends. I have friends now, Mom! Your Hammy has friends. And I have a teacher that seems really cool. I'm going to do well here, Mom. And so are you. You can make mom friends! I know many cool people who have good moms that would love to meet you. You just have to get better. Take your time, Mom. Please get better." He patted his mother's hand. I'll let you rest, Mom. I love you." He left the room and walked to the bathroom to wash his hands again before she gets sick. Again. 

 

—

 

The call ended before John could say bye. He stared at his phone in confusion till he heard someone start to open his door. He quickly shoved his phone under his pillow as Jemmy walked in. 

 

“Who were you talking to?” He asked. 

 

“No one.” John answered. Jemmy raised an eyebrow at him and John smiled nervously. 

 

“Ok then. Can I talk to you?” 

 

“Yeah sure.” John scooter over on his bed as Jemmy sat next to him. 

 

“I know it’s not really my place to know but I’m just curious… why were you smoking in the first place John?” John who was nowhere near prepared for that question suddenly got nervous. 

 

“Oh.” He fidgeted with his sleeve. “I just… it um… it helps me I guess. With stress and all that I mean. It helps me calm down.” He told him. 

 

“I don’t get it. You always seem so chill.” John couldn’t help but laugh. 

 

“Jemmy are you kidding me? I’m a wreak literally all the time. I just don’t let anybody see it.” Jemmy furrowed his eyebrows at him. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because I don’t want people to see me like that. I don’t want anyone to.” Jemmy faced away. 

 

“Lafayette probably has.” He said quietly. John looked at him. What was the supposed to mean? 

 

“Laf is different.” 

 

“Yeah you trust him more.” 

 

“That’s not true.” 

 

“Yes it it.” John sighed at his brother. 

 

“Jemmy. It’s not that I don’t trust you guys it’s that… I don’t ever want any of you to see me like that. The things Laf knows he found out. If he had never found out I wouldn’t have told him anything. The things that he has seen and heard I never want you to know of. I don’t want you to see me the way I see myself.” Jemmy turned and stared at him. 

 

“John what do you mean? You’re amazing.” 

 

“…what?” 

 

“John I thought the world of you. I still do. I couldn’t ask for a better brother. You take care of us. You take all the heat. Hell you’re willing to become a Lawyer, something I know you don’t want to be, just for us. You knew that if you didn’t he make one of us. You’re letting him do whatever he wants with your life so he won’t do it to us. I don’t know what we’d do without you John.” John felt tears in his eyes. 

 

“Shit Jemmy. That’s was so cheesy.” He laughed as he wiped his eyes. Jemmy laughed too. 

 

“Yeah I know.” The two then bursted into laughter. After he managed to control himself Jemmy spoke again. “But really John, thank you.” John’s laughter died down too. 

 

“No, thank you Jemmy. You guys have done more for me then you’ll ever know.” Jemmy smiled then hugged his older brother who hugged back. 

 

“I love you man.” 

 

“Love you too.” 

 

—

 

Lafayette was sitting on the ground with Angelica in front of him on the couch. Lafayette was reading a magazine that was on her knees as she was painting his nails. Peggy had Battleship out and was also facing Angelica but was cross legged on the couch next to her. Peggy stared intently at Angelica as she occasionally looked over to call out a placement. She would move her pieces every time she finished a finger.  Lafayette had Peggy flip the page whenever he was done and this is how they stayed for half an hour unlit a nurse walked in the room and addressed them. 

 

"Excuse me? Are you Miss Elizabeth Schuyler's sisters?" Lafayette scowled at being called a girl and Angelica smirked. 

 

"Yes we are, ma'am. Where is our sister?" The nurse walked closer. 

 

"She is going to stay here for the night. Miss Maria and Miss Elizabeth are... occupied at the moment and asked me if I could talk to you for her. She asked if you could bring clothes for the night and the morning tomorrow." Lafayette's jaw dropped and he looked at Angelica and Peggy with confusion. Peggy grew an almost evil grin and looked at Laf and her sister. When Angelica got the look, mischief flashed in her eyes for a split second. 

 

"Yes we can. We'll be back in two hours." She addressed her companions, "Let's go ladies. We need to help our sister." Angelica stood up and left with Lafayette and Peggy trailing behind them. Laf was blowing his fingers and Peggy quickly cleaned up the game. As they walk out to the car, Angelica shrieked. Lafayette covered his ears and blinked at her. 

 

"Okay. WHAT was that for?" He stared at her and Peggy was red in the face and jumping up and down which was making the Battleship box shake. Angelica slowly turned to face Lafayette. 

 

"My sister is a closeted lesbian. I need to give Margarita here $50." Lafayette laughed. 

 

"You thought Eliza was straight? Wow. I'm so sorry for you." Angelica rolled her eyes, 

 

"No, I just thought that she wouldn't be hardcore les. I assumed she was at least bi." Laf nodded. 

 

"Approved." They continued walking to the car. 

 

"So," Angelica said when she sat down, "you heard what the nurse said? The were... 'occupied'?" Peggy and Lafayette stood outside of the car thinking back to the conversation. Angelica revved the engine and brought them back to life. "Get in, losers! We're going shopping." Peggy was thinking to herself in the backseat for a bit before leaning forward to get the others attention. 

 

“Guys I just thought of something.” Laf looked at her and Angelica gave a quick glance to show she was listening. “Are any of us straight?” Laf laughed. 

 

“Doubtful.” 

 

“I am.” They looked to Angelica. 

 

“Ah, the one hetero.” Angelica laughed. 

 

“Honestly I thought Peggy was straight till she said something she probably didn’t meant to earlier today.” Laf looked back at Peggy who rubbed the back of her neck. 

 

“Oh yeah I may have accidentally outed myself.” Laf helded back a laugh. 

 

“Pegs hun how do you manage that?” Peggy just shrugged. 

 

“Did you ever figure it out?” Angelica asked her. 

 

“Not really. It’s like this: everyone is great and I love people,,, but men are kind of disappointing.” Angelica started laughing and Laf shook his head. 

 

“You’re not wrong.” That made both Angelica and Peggy laugh. Angelica suddenly stopped laughing and looked at Peggy through the mirror. 

 

“Wait Peggy, how do you know men disappoint?” Peggy averted her eyes and looked at her phone. 

 

“Peggy?” She stayed quiet. Laf, who put two and two together, gasped. 

 

“Pegs! Have you slept with someone?!” 

 

“What?!” Angelica turned in her seat before focusing back on the road. “Margarita Schuyler when the hell did you have sex?!” Peggy huffed. 

 

“Jeez guys chill. It’s not that big, we used protection.” She told them. 

 

“You shouldn’t have needed protection because you should have never done it!” Laf sat there shook in the front seat wishing he had popcorn because this was great. “How many times?!” Angelica asked her. 

 

“Only with one person… twice.” 

 

“Twice?!” Laf covered his mouth to stop his laughter. “Margarita I swear to God!” Peggy groaned. 

 

“Are you going to just keep calling me Margarita cause like honestly it doesn’t make you anymore serious.” Angelica frowned and continued driving. 

 

“We’re talking about this later.” Peggy rolled her eyes. “And you!” Angelica hit Laf in the shoulder. “Don’t encourage this!” He tried to stop his laughter. 

 

“Ok ok I’m sorry.” He sat there in his seat still smiling. It was quiet for like five seconds before he bursted into laughter again, this time Peggy was laughing too. 

 

“I hate the both of you.” 

 

—

 

Eliza's head was resting on the edge of Maria's bed and their fingers were intertwined as they looked at each other, smiling. There was a knock at the door and Eliza picked her head up just in time for a nurse to come in and give her a modest suitcase. 

 

"These are the clothes all three of your sisters brought for you." Eliza took the suitcase and gave a confused smile to the nurse. 

 

"Uh.. thank you. I really appreciate it. Have a good night, ma'am." The nurse nodded and left the room. Eliza turned back to Maria. "Three sisters?" Maria thought for a second then gasped and started giggling. 

 

"Was Lafayette there?" Eliza's eyes widened and she also started laughing. 

 

"Yeah! Oh my gosh she thinks Laf is my sister!" They released each other's hands then slowly stopped laughing. Eliza walked over to the wall with a window and pulled the throw pillows off the bench underneath. "I'm going to get changed. Be right back." Maria nodded and Eliza stepped into the bathroom with the suitcase. She zipped it open and dug under the underwear to get to her pajamas. Her heart stopped and her face dropped when she realized they weren't there. "Wait..." she mumbled to herself as she took a closer look at the underwear. Her face turned red and she bit her thumb knuckle to stop from screaming profanities. She sat on the edge of the toilet and looked at the lingerie on the floor. 'What the Hell, guys?!' she thought to herself as she humiliatingly stripped down and pulled them on. The black lace didn't bother her so much as it was that is was see through all the way and had straps and buckles on the sides. "I can't believe this." she groaned at the ceiling. She looked at the mirror then at the door where Maria was waiting and she looked down and her face heated up. 

 

"Hey, what's going on in there? They get something too small? Did you fall in?" Eliza looked up and shouted back, 

 

"Yeah, just a minute. I uh.. I uh.... they got me something that isn't exactly... me.. y'know? Um... not my style?" She internally kicked herself for that stupid excuse. 

 

"Oh come on! I'm sure it's not that bad." 'Oh, it's that bad' "Come on out and let me see... I'm lonely." Eliza let her head drop on the sink and a massive boom! filled the room as she picked her head up and winced at the sound. "Are you okay? Was that you? Eliza?" Eliza panicked and quickly took what she was wearing off and put back on the clothes from school that she wore today. 

 

"Yeah! Yeah I'm fine. Dropped something. I'll be out in a second!" Once she zipped up her suitcase, she left she bathroom. Maria looked at her with worry and curiosity. 

 

"Why are you wearing those to bed?" Eliza double checked what she was wearing and sighed. 

 

"Like I said! Not my style..." She looked at Maria's unbelieving stare. 

 

"I don't believe it." Eliza's mouth dropped and she blushed thinking about what she just put on. 

 

"But-" 

 

"Uh uh! No buts. Go back in there and change." Maria shook the "mommy finger" at her and Eliza poured into the bathroom. 'UhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH' she internally screamed. She slowly took her day clothes off and put her new clothes on. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed before turning away and blushing. As she looked the other way, she saw a towel. She grinned and quickly wrapped that around herself. Eliza opened the door and peeked out. Maria saw her and beckoned her out. She walked out of the bathroom and stood in front of the door, clutching the towel to her chest. Maria looked her up and down and narrowed her eyes. "That took twenty minutes. Did you take a shower?" Eliza bit her lip, blushed, and shook her head. Maria giggled a little bit at Eliza's nervousness. "Hey. I know that those benches probably aren't comfortable. If you're fine with it, I could use some body heat to keep me warm." she blushed and pulled the covers down some. "I feel cold." Eliza looked at her arms and they did have goosebumps. Her face turned a brighter red and she looked down so that Maria couldn't see. "I- I'm sorry... That was probably too soon. You aren't comfortable. Who was I kidding.." Maria looked down for a second and sighed before looking back at Eliza. "Aren't your legs working?" Eliza looked at Maria and gave a hollow chuckle as she shuffled a bit closer. "That's better. Now let's see those hideous, not-your-style pajamas." she smiled. 

 

"Do I have to?" Eliza looked into Maria's eyes. She looked back and reconciled with herself. 

 

"No, I guess not. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. That's how he made me feel. I'm sure your pajamas aren't that bad." Eliza looked at Maria with an unblinking stare and a red face and let her towel drop. Maria literally felt as though her brain stopped working entirely. She stared at her in awe. Only her eyes moved as she looked her up and down. She was truly at a loss for words. 

 

“Maria?” She looked up and met Eliza’s eyes. Eliza waited for her to say something. 

 

“You are… the most beautiful woman I’ve seen.” Maria finally said. Eliza’s face went red and covered it with her hands. Maria smiled before walking to her and taking her hands. “Really, I mean it.” Eliza kept her head down. 

 

“I have no idea why they brought me this.” She said. Maria pulled her closer. 

 

“Well I’m glad they did.” She said smirking. Eliza went even more red if that was possible. “You’re really warm right now.” Maria said cupping her face. 

 

“Well I’m flustered!” Eliza told her. 

 

“So what I’m hearing is I should keep making you blush?” Eliza shook her head. 

 

“Please don’t.” Maria laughed a bit and took her hand, leading her back to the bed. 

 

“I still want to cuddle but if you’re really uncomfortable you can wear my sweater. I think you look incredibly though.” Eliza thanked her and put the sweater on. After she did Maria pulled her close again by the waist. “I’m honestly dying from how amazing you look right now. I’m way too gay to function so can I at least get one kiss?” She asked. Eliza nodded. Maria smiled and kissed her. Knowing it might be awhile before she got to do this again she made it count. After they pulled apart Maria moved over in the bed so Eliza could sit. Everytime she looked at Eliza she couldn’t help but smile. ‘How the hell did I of all people manage to get her in my life? And she’s laying next to me in lingerie I’m weak.’ She hadn’t noticed she was blushing till Eliza pointed it out. 

 

“At least I’m not the only one.” Maria kissed her cheek. 

 

“Yeah but I’m the one that can make you so hush.” 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is hella short

Eliza opened her eyes and blinked a few times to adjust to the dark. There was a small white flicker of light every few seconds from the opposite side of the place she was in. As she continued to assess her surroundings, she realized that she was wearing a sweater that wasn't hers and that someone was behind her. Then, like a snap, she remembered everything. Eliza smiled as she felt Maria's warm arms surrounding her. She knew she wasn't really supposed to be in bed with her after the miscarriage since she may be sore and  it may be painful to move, but her presence felt so nice. She could feel her chin resting on her neck and one leg curled over both of hers as her arm snaked under Eliza's and was gently holding on to her shoulder. The position was rather comfortable. Eliza turned her head some and was looking at Maria's jaw bone and cheek. She gave her a quick peck and turned her head back around. She felt Maria shift and immediately felt guilty for kissing her and waking her. Then she felt a kiss right behind her ear. 

 

"What time is it?" she whispered in Eliza's ear. Eliza felt a shiver on her spine. 

 

"Do you want me to get my phone?" Maria pulled her closer. 

 

"No." There was quiet and Eliza thought Maria fall back asleep again when she said, "Eliza? Can I ask you something?" She turned around so that she was facing Maria now. 

 

"Shoot." She could see a faint silhouette of her whenever the light flashed. 

 

"What happens when we go to school? Will we pretend like none of this happened? Can I still hold your hand and kiss you?" Eliza was surprised with how serious this question was and chose her words carefully. 

 

"I don't think we should lie. Something definitely happened so we shouldn't ignore it. I'd think it would be really great if you would hold my hand." She spoke slowly so that every word served a purpose. 

 

"Can I kiss you?" Maria repeated. Eliza held her breath. 

 

"No. I don't know how people at school will react and I don't want you to get any more hurt than you already are. Plus we aren't dating. If we were dating then that would just be part of the package. Any time in an empty stairwell before, between, during, and after classes though." Maria giggled. 

 

"I need to take you up on that. But one problem." Eliza hesitated. 

 

"Hm?" 

 

"We aren't in a stairwell now and I don't think that what you are wearing is school appropriate." Eliza blushed as the room suddenly grew ten degrees hotter. 

 

"Stooop!" she giggled and attempted to pull down the sweater. Maria sighed contently and put her free hand on Eliza's cheek. 

 

"When can we date?" Eliza gently swatted her hand away. 

 

"Someday, someday." Maria groaned. 

 

"When is that?" 

 

"Heh. In you dreams!" Eliza leaned forward to firmly kiss her forehead in the inky blackness. Her forehead seemed squishy and weird. She pulled away, confused. 

 

"Wow," Maria said breathless. "You got me there." Eliza's face heated up as she realized that she kissed her lips. 

 

"I missed." she said, meekly. 

 

"Oh no. You made it. Bullseye. Ten out of ten. Touchdown. Strike. Home run." Maria told her. 

 

"Good night, Maria." Eliza rolled back over but this time, Maria's other leg was underneath Eliza's waist. 

 

"Good night, Elizabeth. I love you." Eliza hummed peacefully until Maria fell asleep. 'I think I'm in love' she thought. And with that, she fell asleep. 

 

—

 

Peggy sat with Laf in her bed. Angelica had already went to sleep but he insisted they stay up. He wasn’t going to let Peggy get away with what happened in the car. “Come on Pegs you have to tell me!” He whisper shouted. 

 

“I most certainly do not.” She told him. He groaned and rolled back, putting a pillow over his face. “It’s not even that big of a deal.” She said. 

 

“Not a big deal? Peggy you’re a freshman! Meaning this was when you were a middle schooler!” He said sitting back up. 

 

“With a high schooler.” Peggy added with a smirk. 

 

“Oh my god.” Laf fell back again. “Please I need names. I can’t handle. And how the hell is it you got laid before me? Twice!” Peggy laughed. 

 

“You say this like it was good, it wasn’t. That’s why I said men disappoint.” 

 

“Exactly.” Laf sat up again. “I need to know who’s bad in bed. This is useful information.” Peggy rolled her eyes. 

 

“I’m not giving you his name but honestly it wasn’t surprising.” Laf scoffed. 

 

“That could be anyone!” That made Peggy and him burst into laughter and they covered their mouths to try and keep quiet since everyone else in the house was sleeping. The door opened and Peggy fell off the bed. 

 

“What is going on in here?” Her mom asked them. 

 

“Nothing mom.” Peggy said from her new spot on the floor. 

 

“Ok, then can you keep the laughing down? Your father has a meeting tomorrow.” She told her. 

 

“Right. Sorry.” Peggy apologized. She gave her mom a thumbs up who returned it and closed the door back. Laf helped Peggy back up onto the bed. 

 

“So, details.” Peggy shook her head. 

 

“Still a no.” 

 

“Damnit.” Peggy smiled. 

 

“Besides, I don’t even think you know the guy.” Laf crossed his arms. 

 

“Then why can’t I get his name?” He pouted. 

 

“I said think.” She said patting his head. 

 

“Smh.” Peggy laughed. 

 

“Did you just say SMH out loud?” He shook his head. 

 

“Nope. I made the sound. Smh.” 

 

“Wow you’re canceled.” Laf rolled his eyes with a smile. 

 

“You can’t cancel me I have too many ratings.” Peggy threw a pillow at Laf who dodged it. They both flinched as it nearly hit her lamp before they went into silent fits of laughter again. 

 

“Be quiet or my mom will hear us.” Peggy said in between laughs. 

 

“Peggy! Lafayette!” 

 

“Shit! I mean sorry!” The laughing died down but they didn’t. It went like that all night. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Alex woke up after a five minute nap and glanced at the clock by his bed. It wasn't there. He sat up some and looked around the room. He was on the couch in the living room. He had been up and down all night with his mom. For some reason, her fits slowed and he had more time to sleep from between 10pm-1am then from 1-4 they were very fast and he usually just sat in the chair that was next to her. He didn't know why this happened. He just knew that the doctors couldn't help. They never helped before. If his mother died he didn't know what he would do. Alexander looked for his phone and picked it up, texting the nurse-nanny-lady to come in an hour. It usually would be too much of short notice, but she can be at his house in thirty minutes. He remembered that she told him one day that the extra time isn't for her, it's for the kids. She needed to have the babysitter as soon as possible and a lot of times, that wasn't possible. Alex got up and went to his room so that he could get dressed. Once cleaning up his mom once again and welcoming the lady inside, he changed his shirt again since he knew that it would smell. In his new shirt, he grabbed his backpack and the keys and went out to his car. Driving to school took about thirty minutes and it was 6:13 which meant that he was seventeen minutes ahead of schedule. Before driving away, he chose to text someone that he was going to the cafeteria where they met... Ah ha! He clicked the contact and started tapping away. 

 

**'Hey John. Omw. I'll go to the table in cafeteria from yesterday'**

 

After getting to school, he got out of the car and looked around for someone he could possibly know. He shrugged and headed for the cafeteria. He got to the table and saw that there were just enough chairs. He smiled to himself and sat down. He pulled out some homework that one teacher chose to hand out on the very first day of school. I mean, who does that?? He tried doing his homework but he kept seeming to fall asleep each time. He groaned and laid his head down. His rumbling stomach is what woke him up from his delightful nap. He looked up and saw Hercules and John discussing something. 

 

"Hey guys." Alexander said, groggily as he pushed himself up from the table. John looked over at Alex and smiled. 

 

“Hi Alex.” Hercules waved. 

 

“How long have you guys been here?” Alex asked. 

 

“A few minutes. We didn’t want to wake you.” John told him. 

 

“Oh, thanks.” Alex said. 

 

“Are you good dude? You seem really tired.” Alex nodded. 

 

“Yeah I just didn’t get a lot of sleep.” Herc turned towards Alex. 

 

“Why? Everything good?” John smacked Hercs arm. 

 

“Don’t do that.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“You’re doing to him what you do to me.” 

 

“Well it is highly affective.” 

 

“What are you two talking about?” John and Herc looked at him. 

 

“Nothing.” They both said. “Anyway, now that you’re awake can I talk to you? Alone.” John asked him. 

 

“What about?” Alex asked. 

 

“Certain things. That were said yesterday.” Alex, finally getting what he was saying nodded. 

 

“Yeah sure.” 

 

“Great.” John got up and walked out the cafeteria and Alex followed. He lead him to an empty stairwell and closed the door behind him. “I just wanted to make sure you were still good after yesterday.” Alex raised an eyebrow. 

 

“You wanted to make sure I was good? I should be asking you that question John.” John gave a small laugh and pulled a loose string on his sweater. 

 

“Heh yeah. I just wanted to make sure you were, you know, good with it. That I didn’t like freak you out or anything. I don’t really tell people that kind of personal stuff.” He told him. 

 

“Didn’t you say Laf knows?” Alex asked him. 

 

“Well yeah but… that’s a very different situation. Laf only knows everything because he found something out so I ended up having to come clean. He is literally the only person in my life that knows absolutely everything. That’s why he’s kinda overprotective and is the one to talk to me when something’s up. He can always tell what’s wrong. And what I’m about to tell you only he knows.” John took a deep breath and Alex listened carefully. “I trust you Alexander and that’s why I’m willing to tell you this. We haven’t even known each other that long and well, you’ve proven to be a great person. I just know I have to start somewhere with this or else I’ll never tell anyone and I don’t want to keep this inside forever and honestly I feel I’m probably making this way more complicated and extra then its needs to be but like I’m… shook.” He gave a small laugh. “God sorry let me just say this… I’m gay.” 

 

Alexander let out his breath. "Oh, thank God! I thought you were going to tell me something bad." He looked up at John's terrified expression and chuckled. "Jackie, I think that you are really amazing and brave. You met me yesterday and you still trust me enough to tell me this. And you haven't even told Hercules? That takes guts. And trust. Those are very valuable. Keep them." He sat down on the steps and patted the spot next to him. John, looking less scared and more overcome with pure ecstasy, sniffles and wiped his eyes with his sleeve as he sat down. "I'm going to tell you something. That only my mom knows." John raised his eyebrows and leaned in. Alex took a breath and said a quick prayer. He thought of how his mom is the only one who knows. Of what her condition is now. He looked John in the eyes and quietly said, "John, I think I'm bi. I'm only telling you this because of what you just told me but even then I think I would've told you soon regardless. You are a really good person. I want to know you better. I want you to know that I want you to talk to me. Hell, text me during class and I'll meet you. Can't do after school things but I'm there." Alex shot John with finger guns and he winked. John giggled. 

 

"That's what you did when we met." he said. Alex laughed. 

 

"Yeah I guess you're right. Oh hey! Since you're gay does that mean you are good with shopping? Or is that Lafayette's thing. His makeup is good. Do you do makeup?" John backed up, flustered as Alex leaned forward. He started laughing and Alexander grinned. John was laughing so hard that he was leaning to the side. Then he slipped and started falling down the last couple of steps. Alex saw this and reached out to stop him. He grabbed on to his collar and tried to tug him up but he was leaning forward to far and he lost his balance. Alex reached with his other hand to grab on to something to steady himself. They rolled down the steps and Alex landed on his back. "Uff." he said when he hit the floor. John was on top of him with hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at Alex with a shocked expression. Both of his hands were on Alex's shoulders and his legs were in between, too. Alex looked up and smirked at their predicament. The ribbon that tied his hair up was caught in one of John's curls. He reached his hand up to the side of John's cheek and tried to contain himself when he saw him blush in surprise at his hand coming closer. He put his hand in his soft, curly hair. John shut his eyes as his face turned a deeper color. Alex pulled his hand away and John opened his eyes. They looked both confused and sad that Alex's hand was gone. Alex looked at him and cleared his throat, "If you don't mind, I have an itch between my shoulder blades..." John realized what he was doing and scrambled off him. Alex wore a satisfied grin as he pulled his hair back. John was standing with his back on the wall and staring at Alexander as he did so. He looked at John and smiled. "Your hair..." He saw him look up and touch his curls with annoyance. John tugged and strained as he finally managed to put his hair in a good enough mound on his head. Alex walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "How'd yesterday go?"  _'Idiot. He won't tell you anything. Remember what Margarita said?'_ he thought to himself. John shrugged. 

 

“Could’ve gone better. He was really pissed at me and went on and one about how I’m ‘embarrassing the family’ and shit like that. He said that I’m the oldest so I should be setting an example and that I’m doing a shitty job. Which is just his way of telling me I’m a disappointment, not that he hasn’t said those exact words to me before. Besides the point, he asked who I got the weed from and was mad when I wouldn’t tell him. My mom talked to him and calmed him down a bit. I’m still in deep shit but at least I got to keep my laptop and I can have my phone at school. My brother also talked to me after you hung up and-“ John suddenly stopped talking.  _‘I just said waaaayyyy more than I should’ve oh shit. God damnit John what happened to keeping your fucked up self to, well, yourself.’_ He looked at Alex who was still watching him. “Sorry. I said too much.” He was really regretting telling Alex that stuff.  _‘What if he thinks something’s seriously up and tells someone? Or he’s freaked out by my family and never wants to hang out again? Fuck I scared him away haven’t I?’_ John tried to ignore his mind which was showing all the ways he screwed up. “Sorry I talk too much.” He told him. 

 

“Nah it’s fine. I like listening to your thoughts.” Alex told him. 

 

“Oh! Th-thanks.” John smiled at him. “I’m surprised it’s so easy to talk to you. I don’t normally interact with anyone outside the group unless necessary.” John told him. 

 

“What are you shy or something?” Alex asked. 

 

“No I just don’t see the point. Please I’m nowhere near shy. Ask Laf and Herc I’m highly extra and a little violent sometimes but let’s ignore that. Only when people act like assholes… I’ve gotten into a good amount of fights to be honest.” Alex laughed. 

 

“Wow, but you’re so-“ 

 

“Don’t say it Hamilton.” 

 

“-short.” 

 

“And he said it.” Alex laughed again. 

 

“Don’t let my height fool you. I will gladly whoop anyone’s ass.” Alex smiled. 

 

“Whatever you say.” He patted his head and John rolled his eyes. Alexander put his arm around John's neck. "Let's go out and check on the others. If that's all, of course." John smiled up at him and nodded. "Wow. You are the perfect arm rest. You're shoulders aren't too bony or muscular. You're perfect!" Alex squeezed him and grinned. John rolled his eyes. 

 

"Are we gonna go now?" 

 

He looked down at his new favorite arm rest and said, "If you say so.... sigh." John giggled. 

 

"Did you just say the word sigh as you sighed?" 

 

"I don't know of any other way. This is the proper way to sigh." Alexander, whose arm was still around John's neck, walked up to the door and kicked it open. "Ah ha! I did it! Did it look as badass as it made me feel?" he asked, turning to John. 

 

"Sure, whatever. Sigh." he sighed and looked up smiling at Alex. 

 

"Woah... what is this? You two look like you rolled down the stairs and tried to redo your hair. And laughing-- practically blushing-- as you walk out of an empty stairwell together, very closely??" 

 

Alex looked up horrified and blushed at the accusation from the boy standing right in front of them. 

 

"Jefferson." John scowled and blushed harder than Alex. 

 

He smiled, "You remember! So tell me, what did I miss?" He gestured to the boys. Alex felt John tense and he subtly but firmly held him back. 

 

"Jefferson! A pleasure to meet you." Alex extended his hand and Jefferson disgustingly shook it. 

 

"Who are you?" 

 

"My name is Alexander Hamilton. I don't believe I've seen you before." he gave him a challenging glare. 

 

Jefferson scoffed, "Good. I'd like to keep it that way." 

 

"Wow. Okay. Back the fuck away, Jefferson. We all know that you're queer ass is vying for attention." Alex looked shocked at John's accusation. Jefferson's face turned red with anger and he wheeled around. 

 

"Laurens, you can suck my dick." he started walking away. 

 

"Bet you'd like that!" John shouted back. Alex stood there, stunned. "Okay, let's go." John turned around, grabbed Alex's wrist, and started walking. He stopped when he realized Alex wasn't moving. 

 

"Uh sure? Yeah. Okay. Leaving sounds like a good plan." he turned around and hung onto John's neck again. 

 

"And here's another year with that asshole." John pouted. Alex shook off his shock and chuckled. 

 

"I'm sure it'll be fine." 

 

"For me, sure. You get the rest of high school with him. He's a sophomore, too." 

 

"Oh. Sigh." Alex sighed and looked over at John, smiling. Once they walked into the cafeteria, they saw that Lafayette and the Schuyler sisters were there. Lafayette and Angelica looked mad and Eliza was sad and blushing. Peggy was giggling. Hercules was in the back, listening and responding when needed. Laf was sitting on Herc's lap and Eliza and Peggy were sitting as Angelica yelled at Peggy even though Peggy was teasing Eliza about something. "Hey guys!" Alex yawned. John squirmed as though he was uncomfortable and got out of his grasp. Alex frowned at the sudden detachment but remembered what John had said in the stairwell.  _'He's gay. He doesn't want people to get suspicious and Laf already knows. He probably doesn't want Lafayette thinking he likes me. Wait...'_ His thoughts were interrupted by Peggy jumping on his back. 

 

"Wee!" she yelled in his ear. Angelica shook her head and slapped her forehead with her palm. 

 

"Geez, Peggy! A little warning next time!" Peggy hopped off. 

 

"So I can get on your back now? You implied there would be a next time. You can't say no now!" Hercules shook his head, 

 

"Bad idea. You fell for it. There's no saving you now." Alex looked to everyone with desperation and they laughed. He joined them. _'To second chances. Let's hope the second day of school is better.'_ he silently toasted himself. John took as seat next to Laf and Herc. 

 

“Well this is a sight. I ship it.” He said to them. Herc blushed a bit and hit his arm. 

 

“Shut up.” 

 

“Ow.” John said touching his shoulder. “You hit hard.” Herc rolled his eyes. 

 

“I don’t hit hard you’re just small.” John sighed. 

 

“Alright if I hear that one more time I’m quitting all of you.” He said. After that he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“You’re small.” Someone said from behind him. He turned around saw Martha looking at him. 

 

“Fuck you.” 

 

“Fuck you too.” She looked at Laf and Herc. “I need you two.” John looked at her confused. 

 

“What do you need them for?” He asked. 

 

“None ya business. Come on.” Laf and Herc looked at John and shrugged before following his sister. John shook his head before turning back to the group. 

 

“Anyway, what’s going on here? Why does Angelica look pissed, Eliza look upset, and Peggy look happy? There’s a lot of different emotions going on here.” He asked them. 

 

“Oh, Angelica was yelling at me.” Peggy said hoping off Alex’s back. 

 

“Why?” Alex asked. 

 

“Don’t know. I stopped listening and she’s being extra.” Angelica scoffed. 

 

“I am not extra.” 

 

“Are too.” 

 

“Are not.” They stuck their tongues out at each other. 

 

“Ok and I regret asking. Can’t be as bad as what we just endured.” John said. 

 

“Which was?” Peggy asked. 

 

“Running into Jefferson.” Everyone at the table gave sounds of annoyance. Peggy rolled her eyes at the mention of his name. 

 

“Pegs you just got to high school, what could you possibly know about Jefferson?” Eliza asked her. 

 

“Oh trust I know plenty about Jefferson.” She thought for a moment then stood up. “I’ll be back.” She said before walking away. 

 

“Well that was suspect.” 

 

“Yeah very much.” 

 

—

 

Martha led Laf and Herc outside in front of the cafeteria. “So what did you want us for?” Herc asked her. 

 

“John’s birthday next month.” She said. 

 

“What about it? Is something being planned?” Laf asked. 

 

“That’s up to y’all. My mom wants his actual birthday to be spent with the family so we have our own thing for Friday and you guys have to plan out Saturday. Surprise party, have him choose, I don’t know. Mom said he can spend the whole Saturday with you guys and not to do anything that will end in being arrested, drunk, high, dead, lost, impregnated, or impregnating someone else.” She smiled at them. 

 

“Wow.” Laf gave her the thumbs up. “You got it Marth.” 

 

“Don’t call me that.” She said before walking away. Laf put his hands down in defeat. 

 

“Known that child her whole life and she still seems to hate me.” Herc patted his back. 

 

“It’s alright.” He said with a laugh. As they walked back to the table Herc realized something. “Hey Laf, do you think John remembers his birthday is coming up?” He asked. Laf looked at him. 

 

“That can’t happen can it?” 

 

“It has before.” 

 

“Yeah but,,, three times?” There was a pause between them. “We better ask.” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

They walked back to the table and sat by John. “Hey Jackie do you know if anything is coming up soon? Like maybe next month?” Herc asked him. John thought for a second. 

 

“No I don’t think so.” Both Laf and Herc face palmed. 

 

“Told you.” Herc said. 

 

“What?” John asked. 

 

“Jackie, your birthday is next month.” John looked confused for a second before realizing. 

 

“Oh yeah, huh.” Laf shook his head. 

 

“You are a whole mess mon amie.” 

 

“Yeah I know.” After that Peggy came back to the table and sat down with an unreadable expression. 

 

“Where did you go?” Angelica asked her. 

 

“Nowhere.” She said. Her sisters exchanged a look. She’s doing something. 

 

“Already the second day of school and people are already talking about Homecoming, can you believe it? Wait. John, you forgot your own birthdate?” Alex sat down. Hercules looked at him. 

 

“Third year now.” Alex looked at him and his jaw dropped. 

 

“Wow. Remind me to never trust you with anything that you’d have to remember. Oh, wait...” Alex grinned and John flicked him off which made Lafayette and Herc start laughing. “By the way, can I get some cash for food?” he looked at his buddies at the table and hoped they wouldn’t question it. For a split second, he caught John looking at him with pity and confusion. Alexander sucked in his breath and looked away as he took a ten dollar bill from Herc. “Thanks, man.” he said as he stood up to get his food. The last time he ate was yesterday morning when John gave him money for food. He didn’t have time to eat at home since he was so busy with his mom. He had to keep paying the bills even though the bills for next month won’t get to be paid. Alex was the “financial supervisor” of his household. As well as everything else. But he knew for a fact how much money he had versus how much money he would have after paying necessary funds. The government will kick him out. His mom won’t be able to take it. He can’t go to one of his friends for help. They would all be fussing and just make the situation worse. Alex gave Herc’s money to the lunch lady and she tapped it into the database through her computer. He walked away to go back to his friends. 

 

“So Jackie is there anything you have in mind for your birthday?” Herc asked. 

 

“Not really. I hadn’t thought about it. I’m not even sure I want to do anything really. I might tell my mom I don’t want a party.” John said. 

 

“What? Come on Jackie you haven’t had a party since like, middle school.” Eliza said. 

 

“Yeah cause I don’t see the point. It’s like ‘Congrats you aged! Here’s a cake!’ It makes no sense.” He said. 

 

“You know most people don’t think like that.” Angelica said. 

 

“Does it really surprise you? This is the same kid that’s forgetten his birthday three years in a row.” Herc pointed out. 

 

“Because like I said before it’s pointless.” 

 

“Please John.” Laf said. “You’re turning 17, you have to have a party.” John rolled his eyes and sighed. 

 

“Fine. I’ll have a party… if Herc goes to homecoming.” Herc looked at him. 

 

“What?” Laf laughed. 

 

“You’ve never went to a school dance. You didn’t even go to your junior prom.” John said to him. 

 

“Yeah because they’re pointless!” John gave him a look. “Ok, two completely different situations.” 

 

“It’s really not. I have party if you come to homecoming with us.” Herc sighed. 

 

“Yeah Herc! Come to homecoming with us!” Peggy said from across the table. 

 

“No. No way.” He said. 

 

Suddenly Laf took Hercs hand and looked at him. “Please.” He asked. 

 

“Ok I’ll go.” Herc said quietly. John laughed. 

 

“Wow ok then. Remember to keep the eye fucking to a minimum.” He said. 

 

“Alright, come here ya little shit.” Herc said standing up. 

 

“Oh shit.” John booked it out the cafeteria and Herc chased after. 

 

“What? No! Don’t hurt the child!” Laf yelled as he ran after them. Everyone laughed but it died out as Jefferson walked past the table with Madison. He locked eyes with Peggy. 

 

“Peggy.” 

 

“Thomas.” 

 

They exchanged a strange look that confused everyone at the table. Jefferson walked away and Peggy’s eyes followed him for a bit before she turned back to her phone. Eliza leaned over to Alex. 

 

“What the fuck was that?” She asked. Alex shrugged. She sat back up and stared at Peggy along with everyone else. “I have never been more confused and that’s saying something.” Peggy looked at her. 

 

“Confused from what?” 

 

“Are you kidding me?” Eliza asked her. Peggy continued to give her a confused look. “What was that whole thing? You calling Jefferson his first name, him calling you your first name, that look you two had. What was that?” Peggy shook her head. 

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She said. 

 

“Ok, fine then. Angelica, whatever you were yelling at her about earlier please continue.” Eliza said as she turned to her other sister. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

"Thank you, Eliza." Angelica turned to Peggy then paused. Peggy looked nervous and moved away from her eldest sister. Angelica processed this new found anxiety and everything snapped into place. Angelica gasped and jumped backwards out of her chair, knocking it backwards.  _'Nononono it can't be!'_  Angelica looked at her youngest sister with horror and disgust. Peggy's eyes darted to everyone around them and scooted backward on her chair. 

 

"Um. Angelica? I- I know what you're thinking, but-" Angelica held up her hand to silence her and  stared deep into Peggy's soul. 

 

"Margarita Schuyler," she said very quietly and drawing out every word, "Did you or did you not have sex with 'Thomas'?" Angelica walked up to Peggy and looked down at her.  Laf, Herc, and John had come back then just in time to hear that last sentence. Eliza's eyes widened and Angelica could see the cogs turning in her brain. Peggy laughed and looked around at everyone at the table but stopped laughing when she realized everyone was looking at her and only one of them was smiling. Alex just looked at her with confusion and possibly pity. Lafayette looked like he was really missing his popcorn and Hercules looked very sad. John looked at her with disgust and anguish. Eliza's face was sad but she was looking at Angelica. Not Peggy. "Peggy?" Angelica inquired. Peggy gulped and looked down. 

 

"It's not like I planned on it the first time." 

 

"So there was more than one time?!" John snapped up and had a fire in his eyes. Angelica glanced over to see Alex look at him with fear as he tugged a corner of his shirt. John saw the fear and immediately died down. She looked back to her sister. 

 

"Twice." she mumbled. 

 

"Why? Why him?" Angelica's voice cracked as she kneeled down to Peggy's level. Eliza grabbed Angelica's shoulder. "Not now." Angelica said firmly, continuing to stare at Peggy. Eliza did it again with more force and Angelica whipped her head around and twitched as her voice grew, "I said not now, Eliza." She expected Eliza to jump away in fright like she usually does so she turned back around to Peggy when, once again, she felt a hand twist her around back to facing Eliza. "What the fuck is so important to you that is can't fucking wait for a damn minute?!" Angelica stood up with a wild look and time seemed frozen. Eliza had an aggressive face which threw Angelica off guard. 

 

"Angelica. Calm down." She still had a hand on her shoulder but now her nails were starting to dig into the skin. 

 

"Eliza get off of me." Eliza's eyes grew dangerous as she held on tighter to Angelica. She arched her back in an attempt for the pain to lessen. Eliza let go and Angelica rubbed her shoulder. "Eliza, wh-" Eliza stepped closer to Angelica and she sat down in a chair behind her. Now Eliza was looking down at Angelica and she looked like every emotion ever felt and more were bottled up inside her. Like a can of soda that has been shaken up one too many times. She was shaking. 

 

"Angelica. Don't you think you are pushing it too far?" 

 

"What?" Angelica squeaked as Eliza's voice grew stronger and deeper. 

 

"Don't. You think. That you. Are pushing it. Too far." she ground her teeth as she slowly came closer to her sister. "Answer me!" she shouted and everyone jumped. Angelica curled into the chair and looked at her sister with sadness. 

 

"I- I don't understand..?" Eliza silenced her with her gaze. 

 

"I don't know what's wrong with you. You have always been so hypocritical and manipulative." Eliza took a breath and everyone was watching intently. "You always knew that you were the prettiest. You shared that beauty with a few guys. Don't forget that little agreement we made when I was in seventh and you were eighth." she tapped Angelica's nose as her face turned a dark red and she quickly glanced at Alexander. "You even took my boyfriend. You tricked me. You lied your way behind everyone's backs. I remember you even telling me that only if I loved you would I share him. Don't think I didn't cry and stay awake at night hearing you? And him?" Peggy looked between her sisters with tears and saw that Angelica was taking her beating. Eliza had started crying but still continued to talk. "And I know it wasn't just him that you slept with because after a while I recognized which were his and whose were oh, I don't know, Burr? Madison? Three others if I remember correctly. Or was it four? Tell me. Angelica, how many?" 

 

"Five." she whispered. 

 

"Five. That makes eight. Eight people you barely knew. And on multiple occasions." Eliza sniffed. 

 

"Eliza.. please sto-" 

 

"No!" she hit the table. "No. And do you know? How much I looked up to you? And still do? If you are going slut-shame our little sister, I won't have it. At least it was one person. At least she actually knew the damn guy!" Angelica started crying and Hercules discreetly tried to slid a tissue toward her. Eliza saw it and stepped on it. "Angelica, do you know any of their names?" she said quietly. 

 

"Ch- Charles Lee..." 

 

"There are four more. My ex, and then your other two sides." 

 

"I can't remember." Angelica whispered and more tears made their way down her cheeks. Eliza gasped as more of her vision blurred. 

 

"You try to be 'funny' or be 'cool' with your 'practical jokes'. I bet it was your idea you get new clothes for me last night." Lafayette's eyes widened and he looked down and took a tissues from Hercules's hand. Peggy's face turned red and she sobbed. "You could have gotten me a stupid sweater. A stupid! Sweater! But you decided to make me feel humiliated." Despite knowing that Lafayette and Peggy were involved, too, she was still talking to Angelica. "Lingerie? You bought me fucking lingerie to wear in front of Maria who- get this- is gay." Angelica covered her face with her hands. Alex and John's expressions were shocked and fully of pity. "But you know what? I should be thanking you. Without you, Maria will never look at me the same again. Without you, I never would have realized that... I'm lesbian." John looked at her with confusion then at Alexander and quietly smiled to himself before remembering the situation and sobering up again. "I am in love with Maria. And her kisses are better than any guy's. She's gentle and understanding and she's the only honest thing in my life." Eliza broke and dropped to the floor. She gave a big sob and covered her face. Angelica stood up and began to walk over to comfort her through the tears when Eliza's head snapped back up. "Don't." Angelica immediately froze and Eliza stood up and brushed her pants off before lookin back at her oldest sister. "Don't take another step in my direction. There's an empty area over there where you can stand if you want. I would say that I don't know who you are but that's not my problem. My problem is that I DO know who you are." Angelica stood frozen as Eliza stopped sobbing even though her tears were streaming down her face as she walked over to Angelica's purse and took something out before walking outside. She went over to Angelica's car and dried her face so that she could watch the road properly on her way to the hospital. 

 

After Eliza stormed out Peggy looked to her friends. They had to understand, right? “John?” The look of anger still showed in his eyes. 

 

“I’m sorry Peggy I… I just fucking can’t.” He got up and left. She looked to Herc who just gave her a sad look before leaving too. 

 

“Wait no please!” She ran after them and caught Herc in the hallway. “Herc please I’m sorry.” She said once she got to him. 

 

“I’m not mad Peggy it’s just… why? Why Jefferson? After all he’s done to us.” His voice was quiet. 

 

“I didn’t know that much! I swear! Please Herc!” He casted his eyes down before walking away. Peggy stood there and wiped some tears that fell. 

 

“Wow. Never knew I was worth crying over.” Peggy looked to her right and saw Jefferson standing against the wall with Madison at his side, per usual. Peggy glared at him before turning on her heel and going back into the cafeteria. Madison watched her with his arms crossed. 

 

“Remind me again why you ever slept with that girl.” He said looking up at Jefferson. 

 

“Aww why? Is someone jealous?” Jefferson asked as he pinched Madison’s cheek. 

 

“Answer the question.” He swatted Jefferson’s hand away. Jefferson shrugged. 

 

“I was single, she was single, we were bored. We just went, ‘fuck it’. Literally.” He laughed at his own joke while Madison rolled his eyes. 

 

“You’re disgusting.” He said as he started walking away. 

 

“Oh but you love me.” Jefferson grabbed his hand and pulled him back over to him. 

 

“Keep your dreams to yourself.” Madison patted his cheek before leaving. Jefferson watched him leave and whistled. 

 

“Damn!” He yelled. Madison flipped him off and Jefferson laughed before hurrying to catch up with him. 

 

Peggy walked back to the table where Laf was comforting Angelica who was still shocked over everything Eliza had said to her. She walked up to them. “Angelica. I’m sorry.” Angelica looked at her. 

 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Her voice was quiet. There was an awkward silence between them. 

 

“I’m gunna head to class.” Peggy said before walking off. Angelica put her head in her hands and started to cry again. Laf pulled her in a hug. 

 

John and Herc stood by John’s locker. John had his arms crossed and anger was still clear on his face. Herc on the other hand has his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground. 

 

“When did things start to get so complicated?” Herc asked. 

 

“I don’t know but this years off to a ruff start.” John answered. 

 

“Do we have to be mad at Peggy? Herc looked at him as he sighed. 

 

“I’m not mad at Peggy I’m mad at what she did and who she did it with. I know it’s none of our business but… he’s done so much shit in the past.” 

 

“But it’s in the past.” Now John looked to Herc. 

 

“It doesn’t matter. It’s still shitty. Especially what he did to you.” Herc looked away as John continued. “It doesn’t matter how long goes by. It was still a horrible thing.” Herc sighed. 

 

“I guess you’re right.” John nodded. 

 

“Wanna just head to class?” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

The two went their separate ways to class. John smiled to himself when he remembered that he had Alex in the class but his frown returned when he remembered Peggy would be there too.  _‘Come on dude, you’ve known Peggy since she was a seventh grader. You can’t just drop your friend like that.’_ He took a deep breath and remembered.  _‘You’re not mad at Peggy, just at what she did… that’s not any better.’_  

 

—

 

"Before we start learning the literature and dissecting that, I think that you should know the great people behind the works. So, let's begin! Take out your phones and I'll give you five minutes to write down three unique facts you find about Edgar Allen Poe. If you don't have a phone then I have a printed paper of the Wikipedia page that I read over and it is accurate." A couple students came up to get their papers and everyone else took out their phones. Alexander took out his phone and pulled up his messages app. 

 

**'Hey'**

He texted Peggy. She looked up to him in surprise. He gave her a thumbs up and smiled and she smiled and looked down. 

 

**'I may be biased, but I won't leave you. You're a cool person and it was a mistake when you were younger. I'm here for you'**

 

Peggy, still looking down, wiped her eyes and whispered, "Thank you." Alex nodded and did his work. A timer buzzed and Mr. Washington clapped his hands. 

 

"That would be time if you'd do me a favor and pass the papers up for me. Frankly, I'm lazy and I don't want to walk a lot today." A few kids laughed and Alex chucked as he took the papers being handed to him from behind and put his papers on top. When Mr. Washington picked up his stack at looked at Alex with a raised eyebrow. "Eighty five? All cited. I'm truly impressed. I'm surprised you didn't join Yearbook club." 

 

"They wanted me to be their typist. Also yearbooks aren't exactly my thing." Washington nodded and moved on. 

 

"See me after class, Hamilton." Alex's eyes widened. 

 

"Yes, sir." Peggy looked at him with confusion and slight happiness. Alexander just shrugged with a big smile. They fist bumped each other and went back to the work the their teacher was explaining. The bell rang a short while later and everyone bolted out the door. Peggy hugged Alex fiercely before she left and John just walked out without saying anything to him. Alex's gaze followed him out. Once he heard the door shut, he walked up to Mr. Washington's desk. "You wanted to speak to me, sir?" Washington looked up and nodded, 

 

"Yes, I did. Pull up a chair. Let's talk." Alexander grabbed a chair and pulled it around to face his teacher. “Now Hamilton I must say I’m impressed. Any writing that you’ve turned in so far is very nice, and I’m not the only one to notice. Plenty of clubs have asked you to write for them.” Washington said to him. Alex looked away. 

 

“I’m not interested in being anyone’s secretary.” He said. Washington chuckled. 

 

“Understandable. Now here’s my offer. I’ll be away soon on personal business and to be honest I don’t trust these subs. Either they don’t do their jobs and not give you anything to do or they give you way too much. So I’m wondering if you’d be interested in writing lesson plans for the class. I would but I feel you have plenty of great ideas up in that head of yours. And maybe even be the honorary student in charge. I’ll make sure whoever subs knows that.” Alex smiled. 

 

“Of course sir.” He told him. 

 

“Thank you. And now one more thing.” He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a paper. “At the beginning of the year some students are picked to go to D.C and write an essay of their choice on Congress or something, I’m just supposed to find people with good writing.” Alex laughed a bit. “Anyway, you’ll spend a week in D.C and even get a tour of the White House. Now normally it’s just Juniors and Seniors or people that have been here for awhile but I just feel like you deserve it. So what do you say?” Washington handed Alex the paper. Alex smiled for a second but then remembered his mother. He couldn’t leave her for a week. 

 

“I’m honored sir, really, but I can’t.” Washington raised an eyebrow but nodded. 

 

“I’m sad to hear that but I understand. At least think on it.” He told him. Alex slightly nodded before leaving the classroom. He walked out the room and saw John waiting against the wall. 

 

“Were you waiting on me?” He asked him. John shrugged. 

 

“I was curious. Can I?” He looked to the paper Alex was holding and took it when Alex handed it to him. “Woah dude. This is cool.” John said. 

 

“Yeah, I’m not doing it.” Alex looked down as John looked back at him. 

 

“What? Why? Alex your writing is great.” Alex shook his head. 

 

“I just can’t.” John furrowed his eyebrows but didn’t pry. 

 

“Ok. I have a question for you though, not about this.” Alex looked back to John. 

 

“Shoot.” John sighed. 

 

“Do you think I was being to hard on Peggy?” He asked. Alex thought on it for a second. 

 

“I mean she was clearly upset and sorry. Maybe being mad at her isn’t needed.” He told him. 

 

“I mean I’m not necessarily mad at her. I am a little mad at what she did. I mean Jefferson of all people.” John’s gaze darkened when he said Jefferson’s name. 

 

“I don’t really understand what you all have against Jefferson. What did he do that was so bad?” Alex asked. 

 

“Multiple things. He’s been a pain since middle school. But the worst thing he’s done he did to Herc, that’s why I hate him so much.” John explained. 

 

“What did he do to Herc?” Alex asked. John paused for a second before finally talking. 

 

“Remember when I told you Herc was bi and practically flew out the closet?” Alex nodded. “Well that wasn’t really the case. The only reason Herc came out is because he had to, because Jefferson outed him.” Alex’s eyes widened. 

 

“Are you serious?” He asked. John nodded. 

 

“I couldn’t give two shits what Jefferson does to me, it’s the fact he hurt Herc that pisses me off. You can’t just do that to someone. In my opinion it’s one of the most fucked up things you can do.” Alex stared at John. The anger was back in his eyes and his arms were crossed. 

 

“That’s horrible.” He said. 

 

“I know.” John agreed. 

 

“But… it’s not Peggy’s fault.” John sighed. 

 

“I know. I’ll talk to her.” Alex smiled at him. 

 

“Good.” John gave a small laugh. 

 

“I should head to class. My teacher was already slightly pissed I was late on the first day, let’s try not to make it a trend.” He laughed and so did Alex. They said bye and went their separate ways. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Actually posting a chapter? It’s more likely than you think

 

As Alexander sat down in his second period, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took a quick peek at it and immediately put the phone down and froze. He picked the phone back up again with shaky fingers and looked once more at the contact who texted him. It was his mom's nurse. Alex got up and ran to the bathroom with his things. The teacher wasn't in the room yet and not many people cared. He looked at his phone and read the message. 

 

**'Alexander, she's gotten worse and we are on our way to the hospital right now. I don't know what's wrong but I can't fix it. I'm sorry for telling you this in the middle of school but I want you to know that she is being cared for.'**

 

He let his phone fall on the ground as his entire body started shaking. _'I've gotta get out of here. I've gotta tell someone. Can't tell anyone. No one knows.'_ Alexander thought to himself as he started pacing in the bathroom. He felt sick and his shirt had sweat patches. "God, what am I gonna do?!" He collapsed to the ground by his phone and tried to control his breathing as tears escaped his eyes. The last time he cried this hard was when his father left. Suddenly, he heard a toilet flush and he jumped up. His anxiety rose and he tried to get rid of the evidence that he wasn't stable. No one was supposed to know about his mom. He wiped his eyes and breathed in deeply as he lunged for his phone. He pressed himself to the wall a hoped that it was just his imagination and that no one was there. The stall door opened. _'It's your imagination. You are hallucinating again.'_ He heard a couple footsteps tap out of the stall and a tentative voice softly question, 

 

"Alex?" 

 

_'Shit'_ he thought to himself as a tear slipped down his cheek. He sniffed and the footsteps came closer. He slid into the corner and crouched down, trying to hide. The footsteps stopped and Alex released a shaky breath. "John, I'm scared." He looked up at where the voice and footsteps came from and sobbed. John looked hesitant but calm and worried. Protective and soft. He quickly collapsed next to Alex and pulled him into a fierce hug. Alex hoped that John wasn't going to mind having a large wet spot on his shoulder. He hoped that he wouldn't ask too many questions. He hoped his mom would be alright. He hoped he wouldn't be abandoned. He cried even harder and Alex accepted the hug and returned it. He was clinging to John and never wanted to let go. 

 

"Shhh. It's ok. I'm here I've got you. You're okay now." John cooed. Alex felt like he was empty and had nothing left inside other than a knot in his stomach and a hole in his heart. 

 

"I don't wanna let go," he cried and gripped John's shirt in his fists. He could feel John's heartbeat rise and let its loud pounding calm him down. Soon, he was curled in John's arms on the floor with his head on his chest and his eyes shut tightly. John's arms were very strong compared to how they looked. John's cheek was leaning on the top of Alex's head. The bell rang and Alex sighed and looked up and John moved his head off as he looked down. He was about to say something then decided against it and just hugged him very tightly before pulling away and relaxing into him. "Thank you, John." Alex's muffled voice escaped his shirt. 

 

"Hey," John lifted his chin so that Alex would be looking at him. "You're getting to be the closest friend I've got." Alex smiled then rested his head in John's arms so that he could still be looking at him. His phone buzzed and Alex froze with a horror filled look on his face. John gently took his phone out of his back pocket and nodded to him. Alex gave a small, quick nod and hesitated before asking, "Do you want me to read it out loud?" Alex nodded again and held his breath. John proofread the message and his eyes widened. He read it out loud and said, "Okay here's what it says: 'Alex she's getting worse. I'm going to stay with her and I think it would be best if you come as soon as possible. The doctors said that she won't live till the end of the week.' Oh, God, Alex I'm so sorry." He squeezed him and Alex stayed limp in his arms. He looked straight ahead with tears streaming down his face. 

 

"I need to see my mom." He said with a hoarse voice. John rocked back and forth and nodded. 

 

"I could text Lafayette to help you. I want be the one that helps you but I can't miss anymore classes." Alex nodded. 

 

"I get it. I need to leave." He sniffed and the late bell rang. John jumped and Alexander sighed as he rubbed his tears away. "I need to leave." John looked at him and wiped a stray tear off his cheek with his soft fingers and smiled. 

 

"At least we don't have cameras in Constitution High School."  Alex stood up and helped John to his feet. "If it's alright with you, I want to talk about this later. I won't tell anyone." 

 

"Thanks, Jackie." John gave Alex a small smile. 

 

“I’ll ask Laf if he can take you. If he says yes I’ll text you to meet him outside, ok?” Alex nodded and John put a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be alright.” He gave him one last smile before leaving the room. 

 

—

 

John got outside Laf’s classroom before texting him to meet him. When Laf came out the door John pulled him away a bit. 

 

“Can you give Alex a ride to the hospital?” He asked him. Laf’s eyes widened. 

 

“The hospital? Why? Is he ok?” John shook his head. 

 

“There’s something going on with his mom. Don’t tell him I told you because he asked me not to but since you might take him I thought you should know. Just please, can you? I would but I don’t have a car and even if I did I can’t afford to miss anymore classes. My teacher thinks I’m in the bathroom right now.” Laf nodded. 

 

“Of course I’ll take him.” John smiled. 

 

“Thank you.” He typed something on his phone. “I just told him to meet you outside.” Laf nodded before hurrying down the hall. John sighed before going back to his class. He sat down in his seat next to Herc. 

 

“Well it’s about time.” He said. 

 

“Shut up.” John said jokingly. He didn’t want Herc to ask questions because he knew Alex wouldn’t want him telling people. John shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he thought about the situation. Alex could loose his mother. John couldn’t even imagine. Sure his family came close plenty of times. His mother had been sick for years and in and out the hospital but she got better. What happened to Alex’s mom? How sick was she? How long has this been going on? What about Alex’s father? Did he know? Did he care? John could barely handle all these thoughts that flooded his head and let it fall onto his desk. Herc, having heard the small thud, looked at him. 

 

“You good?” He asked. 

 

“Tired.” John told him. Herc patted his head before turning his attention back to the teacher. John sighed. _‘I have to call him later, make sure he’s ok. God I hope he’s ok. He’s going through the unimaginable.’_

_—_

 

Alex paced and hoped that no teachers were going to the front of the school anytime soon. We wiped a tear away and picked up how fast he was pacing. He heard a door shut and Lafayette came jogging forward. Alex turned around and hugged him. 

 

"I'll drive." Laf held his hand palm up to Alex and he dropped car keys into his hand. "Where's the car?" Alex took off running away from Laf. "Woah! Ok." Lafayette ran after him and both stopped when they reached a car. "This is it?" Laf panted. Alex nodded and both of them jumped in the car once Lafayette unlocked the doors. He started the car and was about to start driving when he stopped. "Buckle. I don't want your blood on my hands, too." He winked at Alexander but he just looked ahead as he wiped another tear. He blew out a breath of air and reached over to buckle his friend in the passenger seat. He leaned back into his seat and drove out of the school parking lot. _'Dad is gone. No one knows where he is. Mom is in the hospital dying. They said she won't last a week. I have no family.'_ Alex quietly sobbed to himself. 

 

"I'm going to die!" He cried out. Lafayette turned his head for a second before refocusing on the road. 

 

"Mon ami, don't say what isn't true." Alex cried harder and with more violent sobs escaping his throat because he knew it was true. 

 

"No you don't..don't understand! I'm gonna.. I'm gonna die!" he said between sobs. Lafayette frowned and glanced back at him. 

 

"Take a deep breath. If you ever want or need to tell anyone anything, good or bad, I'm here. And right now I'm here with metaphorically open arms. We can even take turns telling each other secrets. I'll go first. I am totally fluent in American and am from France. I'm an illegal immigrant and I'm not straight. I just told you one thing that now only you and John know. And maybe Herc..." Alex calmed him self down enough to breath correctly and the tears were now infrequent and individual. 

 

"My mom is dying. If she dies, I'm dead. My father won't do shit for us and I'd refuse his help if he ever asked." He looked at Lafayette with slight fear. 

 

"Do you feel better?" He glanced at Alexander. He thought for a second then nodded. 

 

"Yeah. A little." Laf grinned a bit. 

 

"Good." They sat in silence for the rest of the drive. When they parked, Alex thought he was having a panic attack so they had to take ten minutes so calm down. As they walked in the building, he pulled out his phone and texted the nurse. 

 

**'I'm here'.**

 

Before he even took another step,  he got a response. 

 

**'What?!?? You need to be in school. I'll pick you up myself if she changes for the worst.'**

 

Alex walked up and signed in then sat down with Lafayette before answering. 

 

**'I'm already here and she's already the worst she can be. My friend drove me. What room?'**

 

Once again, the nurse responded quickly. 

 

**'You can't come back here. They are operating and even I am outside the room right now. Stay there. Tell your friend to drive you back.'**

 

Alex handed his phone to Lafayette after he tried to type but couldn't form coherent words with his shaking hands. He read them then tapped the keyboard to respond before freezing and looking back to Alex. 

 

"May I?" He nodded and Laf started tapping away. 

 

—

 

John sat there with his head still on the desk when he suddenly remembered something. _‘Shit I was supposed to talk to Herc about Laf!’_ He looked around the room. Everyone was doing their work so now was a good time since he still wasn’t allowed to have people over at home. He turned to Herc. “Hey Herc, I got a question for you.” Herc looked to him. 

 

“You ever think about relationships?” John asked. 

 

Herc raised an eyebrow. “What?” 

 

“I mean you’re a senior and I’m a junior yet neither of us have been on a date. It’s kinda sad honestly. At least Laf has girls interested in him.” 

 

Herc furrowed his eyebrows. “Well shit I’ve never thought about that befo – wait… what’d you say about Laf?” 

 

John smirked to himself. “Some girls came up to me to ask about him, like if he’s single and all that. Why do you ask?” 

 

Herc looked away. “No reason.” 

 

“Well alright then. I think one of them is going to ask him out.” 

 

“What! No!” A few people looked to Herc before turning their attention back to their work. Herc sunk down in his seat a bit while John smiled. 

 

“I knew it.” He said. 

 

Herc looked at him. “What?” Herc was highly confused. 

 

“Dude there is no girl. I just knew you wouldn’t admit that you have a crush on Laf.” 

 

Herc’s eyes widened. “W-what! No I don’t!” John rolled his eyes. 

 

“He was literally sitting in your lap this morning.” 

 

“That means nothing.” 

 

John sighed. “Herc just admit it. There’s something going on between you two. Are you friends with benefits?” John wiggled his eyebrows and Herc smacked his arm. 

 

“Shut it.” He told him. 

 

“Only joking.” John said with his hands up in mock surrender. “But really though, do you like him? You’re both great guys I could see you together.” 

 

Herc blushed slightly. “I don’t know man. I do like him but… I don’t think we’ll ever be more than whatever we are right now.” He told him. John raised an eyebrow. 

 

“So even you don’t know what you are?” He asked. Herc nodded and John sighed. 

 

“Well I think you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Who knows what will happen.” John told him. Herc thought it over before nodding. Then he said yes, you know, like a liar. He wasn’t going to tell Lafayette how he felt. He’s rather keep hurting his heart in this weird relationship they already have then risk telling him. Who knows what will happen. 

 

—

 

 

Alex had the wheel this time. It was almost midnight and Lafayette was asleep and snoring next to him. Tonight would be the first night of being away from his mom since she got sick. After two years, she wasn't there. He held back tears and stared deeply at the road in front of him. He gently shook Laf awake. "I'm not allergic!" Alex quickly looked at Laf with a very concerned expression. "Oh... did I.. shout?" Alex nodded. "I do that sometimes if someone wakes me and I'm in a deep sleep. Don't tell anyone." 

 

Alex chuckled. "Well now I know something about you that, as it seems, no one else knows." Lafayette smacked his shoulder and they both laughed. 

 

"Where are we going?" Laf asked after a minute of silence. 

 

"School. To get your car." 

 

"Oh no no no. You don't want to do that." 

 

Alex glanced at him with his eyebrows scrunched together. "Why not?" 

 

Laf sighed. "I'll fall asleep. You know too much." 

 

Alex chuckled. "Okay, then where do you live?" Lafayette pointed out where to go and the two of them got turned around several times before finally pulling up to a stop in front of a Victorian style house. 

 

"Thanks, mon ami. Can you do me a favor?" Laf asked as he slipped out of the car. 

 

"Uh sure?" Alex leaned toward him. 

 

"I need a ride to school tomorrow since my car is already there." 

 

Alex dropped his head and sighed. "Yep. I've got you. Be ready by eight!" He shook a finger and he laughed. 

 

"Thank you again! I owe you. Bye, Alex!" Laf blew a kiss to him and Alexander laughed. 

 

"Okay I'm gone!" Both boys were laughing as he took off down the road. Now it seemed a bit too quiet. Alex was uncomfortable sitting in his own depressing thoughts that he turned on the radio. It helped but mostly as background noise. Once he got home, he grabbed his bag and locked the car before heading inside to his dark, quiet house. He sighed and made his way toward his bedroom when he heard his phone buzzing loudly. He spun around in a panic as he snatched his phone from his pocket because he didn't want to wake his mom. Then he stopped. _'Wow. Old habits die hard.'_ He cringed at his choice wording as he set his bag down and looked at the lit phone screen. 'Johnny Boy. I should answer John.' He sighed as he clicked 'Accept' and held the phone to his ear. "Hi." 

 

John's voice was quiet and muffled. "Hi, Alex." 

 

"Where are you? How did you know I was home?" Alex sat on his bed and kicked off his shoes. 

 

"I'm supposed to be asleep so I'm under my blankets...sorry if you can't hear me well I just wanted to check up on you. Asked Lafayette to text me when he got home. So I waited ten minutes and called you." 

 

Alex tossed his socks away. "Hold on a second." Alex set the phone down and took off his shirt. "Okay I'm back." John sighed. 

 

"How are you?" 

 

Alex fell on his back and looked at the black ceiling. "I'm alone. And I'm scared. And I don't know what to do. My mom.... the nurses said she wouldn't last a week. John, you don't know how that feels!" Alex started crying. "Laf knows now but I don't think he'd tell anyone. I trust you. I feel like my world is falling apart. You guys are the only thing keeping me grounded and I've only known you two days!" Alex sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I feel like shit. I don't know what I'm doing." Alex punched his blanket. "I wish you were here. I wouldn't be alone. Mom is at the hospital and I can't see her. For all I know, she's already dead!" Alex sobbed as he got up and threw a lamp on the ground. It shattered and he fell on his knees. 

 

“Alex.” John said calmly once he heard the crash on the other line. “Listen to me, calm down, and breath. It’s going to be ok.” He heard Alex trying to calm his breathing. “Look, my father is out at a meeting and everyone else is asleep so I’m going to come get you, ok? I just don’t think you should be alone right now.” He waited for Alex to reply. He gave a quiet ‘ok’ and John nodded to himself. “Text me your address and I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Alex have another weak reply before hanging up. John got out of bed and quietly put on a sweatshirt, he decided to just keep on his pajama pants and put on some shoes. He snuck downstairs and took the keys to his moms car before turning off the house alarm and leaving and heading to the address Alex had texted him. When he got there he was going to get out and go to the door but Alex was already coming outside. John got out the car and went up to Alex. Alex looked down and had his arms wrapped around himself, you could still see the tears in his eyes. John hugged him from the side and lead him to the car. He opened the passenger door for him and closed it after he got in. He jogged around to the driver side then drove back to him house. 

 

—

 

John sat next to Alex on the couch and handed him a blanket. Alex hadn’t said a word during the whole ride and still remained quiet. He started crying again and John looked at him. “Alex it’ll be alright.” 

 

“You don’t know that.” 

 

John sighed. “You’re right, I don’t.” He took Alex’s hand. “But I can hope. And sometimes that’s all you can have. And believe me when I say I know how you feel.” Alex looked up at John in slight confusion. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I know how you feel. My mom she’s… she’s been sick for years and it got worse after Jemmy was born. She’s been in and out of the hospital plenty of times. Once when I was 12 she was in there for a whole month and nearly flatlined…” John paused before taking a deep breath. “Anyway the point is I know how it feels to fear loosing someone. There’s no way of knowing what will happen but whatever it is you will get through it. We’ll be right here with you the whole time.” John smiled at Alex who gave a small one back. 

 

“Thank you John and I’m sorry about your mom I had no idea.” 

 

John’s smile fell slightly. “Yeah it’s not really something you talk about. I’m just grateful she’s gotten better. I really hope your mom gets better Alex.” 

 

“So do I.” They heard the front door open and John’s eyes instantly widened. _‘Shit.’_

 

His father walked in and locked eyes with him. “Why did I get notified the alarm was turned off and that someone left the house?” He asked him. Alex watched as the John he met two days ago seemed to leave. He avoided eye contact with Henry and fidgeted with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. 

 

“I’m sorry sir, that was me.” This didn’t seem like John at all. His voice was quiet and defeated, kind of how Maria sounded when she was caught in a lie. The slight urban accent he had was gone. 

 

“Yeah I can tell. Why the hell did you leave this house when you’re grounded? Not to mention you’re not supposed to go out at this time anyway. What reason could you possibly have to justify-“ He stopped when he turned his head and saw Alex sitting on the couch. He turned back to John. “I didn’t know you had company.” John still wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

 

“Sir this is Alexander Hamilton. We met at school, I was just helping him with something.” 

 

Henry turned to Alex and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you young man. I do not know your reason for being here but do you mind if I have a word with my son in private.” His eyes remained on John as he said that. Alex turned to John who slightly nodded. 

 

“Of course.” He stood up but didn’t know where to go so he looked to John again. 

 

“My room is the first door on the left after the turn in the hallway upstairs.” He told him. Alex nodded and headed for the stairs. Henry gave him a smile that was clearly fake as he pasted him. Alex returned it before going to the room John told him. 

 

After a few minutes John came into his room getting the attention of Alex who was sitting on his bed. “Sorry about that. I should’ve turned the alarm back on or at least called him so he wouldn’t have had to leave his meeting, it was my fault.” He said as he closed the door. 

 

“Are you ok?” Alex asked him. 

 

John nodded. “Besides that doesn’t matter, you’re more important right now. You can stay in the guest bedroom if you want. I’ll get you a blanket.” He walked over to his closet to try and find a blanket for him. Alex watched as John shuffled in the closet. 

 

"Hey, Jackie?" John immediately stopped and turned around with all his attention. The sudden affection and concern made Alexander's mouth go dry and he felt his face heat up. "Thanks for doing this." He looked at his lap and fiddled with his hoodie sleeve hem. He had thrown it on when he heard John's car approach his house. He looked up at saw John smile. 

 

"You're welcome. I'd do this for you any time." He turned and kept rummaging for a good blanket and Alex's gazed drifted to John's pajama pants. There were designs on it that made it look like it had pockets and Alex was wondering if they were functional at all when John turned around with laden arms and paused. Alex was zoned out and John cleared his voice, grabbing his attention. Alex looked up and John was blushing and confused. "Were... were you staring at my ass?" His voice rose an octave and the wheels in Alex's brain clicked at his face heated up and he stammered to get out an explanation. 

 

"I- I- I'm just... Your pants. And um.. um.. um.. I uh... The pockets?!" He covered his face and rolled backwards onto the bed. "God! I'm sorry I'm tired and you pants look like they have pockets. Ugh this is awkward." John giggled and sat down next to him as Alex sat up. Both of their faces were red and they couldn't help but stare at each other and laugh. As Alex looked at John's face, he couldn't help but notice his sharp chin and perfectly straight and white teeth. "You're teeth are so much straighter than you!" Alex quietly laughed. 

 

John rolled backwards and wiped a tear. "This is the most fun I've had in my house in a while. And why are you checking out my teeth? I'm more than just a mouth!" He mock cried as the boys gasped for air from laughing. 

 

"You're never going to let me live this down are you?" John shook his head at Alexander with a large smile as both of them got control of their breathing. 

 

Alex flopped backwards so that they were laying next to each other and gave a small smile. "Thank you." 

 

John gave a small caress to his cheek and grinned. "Like I said, any time." 

 

Alex closed his eyes and sighed. "Please help me through these next several days. I can't do this alone. I'm scared to do this alone." He looked back at John and he gave a tight lipped nod. A small chuckle, like a breath of air, escaped Alexander's chest. "I told Mom about you." 

 

John sat up some. "You did?" 

 

"Yeah. I told her that I finally had some friends." He tilted his head in John's direction and saw him sitting up, looking down at him with a great, big smile and tears in his eyes. 

 

"That's great!" Alex smiled and shut his eyes before he felt the pressure on the bed release. He sat up and saw John standing with the blankets in his arms. "Let's get you set up for the night." Alex followed him out of the room and down the hallway to an empty room and they set everything up. 

 

Just as Alex was about to take off his sweatshirt and crawl under the covers he remembered something. "John?" He stopped shutting the door at looked at Alexander. 

 

"Hm?" 

 

"When should I get up? Like do you have breakfast as a family? I didn't bring any clothes either so I kind of need to borrow yours... Are you sure I'm not intruding? Is there a special protocol I should follow if someone asks me something? Like if you dad says anything?" John blinked then sighed and smiled, leaning on the door frame. 

 

"Alex?" 

 

"Yeah?" He said in a small voice. 

 

"Would you rather sleep in my room?"  

 

Alex let out a sigh of relief. "That'd be great, thank you." He said in one breath as they took all the rings out of the guest room and headed back to John's bedroom. John closed the door behind then after they went back to his room. He set the extra blanket in the bed and took a pillow from a chair to hand to Alex. “Thanks.” Alex said setting the pillow on the other side of the bed. John looked down at the sweatshirt he was wearing before deciding to keep it on and turned off the light as Alex laid down in the bed. John laid down next to him and sighed. 

 

“Oh, as for that ‘protocol’ thing you were asking about earlier I wouldn’t really say there is one. We wake ourselves up and my mom usually already has breakfast done when we get down there, my father is always gone before we wake up at meetings or some shit I don’t really know or care, then my mom takes us to school. The thing about that though is I have four younger siblings so car rides can be a bit… extra. That’s one reason why I want my own car so badly.” John explained. 

 

Alex gave a small laugh. “I don’t mind. I don’t have any siblings so who knows it might be nice. Though I did tell Laf I’d give him a ride seeing as when he took me to the hospital we took my car so his is still at school.” Alex looked to John to see his reaction but John just brushed it off. 

 

“No problem. Laf lives close by my mom would give him a ride.” 

 

“But that’s like eight people.” 

 

“The car seats eight people.” 

 

“Oh.” Alex turned his head and stared at the ceiling. “Well goodnight, I guess, John.” He said rolling over onto his side. 

 

“Night Alex.” John laid there on his back for a few minutes before face palming. _‘Ohmygod you really brought the guy you have a secret thing for to your house. AND he’s currently asleep next to you in your bed! Not to mention he’s going to see how extra your family is and he met father. Wow I’m really an idiot.’_ He looked over to Alex who was breathing steadily in his sleep. John let out a sigh. _‘God I’d give anything to be his.’_  

 

—

 

John woke up to his alarm the next morning and quickly turned it off. He heard Alex groan before he sat up. “Morning.” John said to him. 

 

“Morning.” He replied. John got out of bed and went over to his closet. 

 

“I mainly own sweatshirts so I hope you’re chill with wearing one.” John said as he tossed one to Alex. 

 

“It’s fine. Thanks.” 

 

John smiled as he grabbed a sweater and jeans for himself. “I have to go make sure Jemmy’s up since he’s a heavy sleeper. I’ll be back.” John then left the room leaving Alex alone to get ready. John came back in a few minutes later already dressed. “Breakfast is ready by the way. And my mom knows you’re here.” He told Alex. 

 

“How?” Alex asked. 

 

“My father probably told her. It’s alright though, she’s a lot better.” He motioned for Alex to follow him. As the walked down the hall a girl in a sundress ran past them. “Yo Mary slow down.” John said to her. She turned and looked at him. 

 

“You and I both know that if I’m slow Jemmy will eat all the bacon.” 

 

“Girl Jemmy just woke up.” 

 

Mary smiled. “Ha! That means I can get there before him.” 

 

“Or so you thought!” Jemmy ran past John and Alex and raced Mary down the hall. There was a loud thud and John sighed. 

 

“What was that?” He called out. 

 

“She tripped me!” 

 

“I did not! You fell over air!” 

 

“I fell over your foot!” 

 

John face palmed and looked to Alex who was trying not to laugh. “I told you they’re extra.” He said to him. 

 

Alex shook his head. “I don’t mind.” John smiled at him. He continued walking and Alex followed. When they got to the kitchen John’s four siblings were already at the table as their mom, Eleanor, placed food down. 

 

“Morning John.” She said when she saw him. “And you must be Alexander.” She said looking to Alex. 

 

“Hello ma’am.” He shook her hand and she smiled at him. 

 

“Well go ahead and take a seat. Help yourself to some breakfast.” She told him. Alex sat down next to John. 

 

“Hey mom can we give Laf a ride today? His car is still at school.” John asked Eleanor. 

 

“Of course. But you guys may have to more a little quicker today. Mary has to be at school a little earlier than usual.” She told him. 

 

“Alright.” 

 

As they rode in the car John let his sister Martha take the front seat so he could sit in the back with Alex and Laf after they picked him up. They talked amongst themselves as John’s siblings had their own loud conversations. After they dropped Jemmy and Mary off at the middle school Eleanor took John, Laf, Alex, Henry Jr, and Martha to the high school. “Bye mom.” John said as he closed the door when everyone got out. 

 

“Hey hey, aren’t my children forgetting something?” Eleanor called out to them. John, Henry Jr, and Martha all walked back to give their mom a hug goodbye. “Thank you I feel so loved.” She said to them. They laughed and said bye again before she waved and drove off. John parted ways with his siblings and walked with Alex and Laf to the cafeteria. He made a mental note to talk to Peggy today. 

 

—

 

Angelica lifted her head off the table when she heard footsteps come closer. She tried to compose herself as John, Lafayette, and Alexander came into view. She sat up straight and gave a small wave in their direction. Alex saw this and smiled wide as he waved his arm enthusiastically. Angelica's face felt warm and she struggled to calm the butterflies having a disco in her stomach. They sat down and John looked around. 

 

"Where's Peggy and Eliza?" 

 

Angelica sighed and looked up. "Eliza never came home and Peggy is staying away from all of us. She wanted to walk to school. I had to force her in the car and when we got here, she ran off." Lafayette frowned at this then looked up and eyes Alex and John. 

 

"So, why did Jackie's mom pick me up this morning? And why is Alex wearing his favorite sweatshirt?" Alex and John looked at each other with wide eyes then looked down and away. Anyone could tell that they were blushing and Angelica didn't like this. _'Alex can't like men. He stares at every woman he sees! And John is straight. He never expressed any interest in men before... or women. Maybe he's aromantic? He seems oddly sexual.'_ Angelica pondered. Alex cleared his throat and Angelica gained focus again as he began to speak. 

 

"Well, I have family stuff happening... as you know, Laf. And um well..." he looked over at John and both boys looked at each other with frantically moving jaws but nothing came out. Lafayette looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh. John finally tore his gaze away and looked at Laf. 

 

"Well, yeah and... Alex was a danger to himself so.. well I picked him up.... and he didn't bring any clothes, you see..?" Alex scratched the back of his neck and John looked at Lafayette with a pleading gaze. Angelica stood up, not wanting to hear two boys deny whatever was happening when she was secretly falling for one of them. John jumped when he heard the movement. 

 

"I'm going to look for Peggy. Carry on with... that." Angelica turned in her heel and left. She could feel anger boiling up the butterflies. She knew what was happening. She had seen it before. She listens to every conversation and know something about someone. She picks up on all the details everyone else thinks are the scraps. _'I do all the work and all I get is pain._ ' Angelica huffed as she walked further and further away from the man she was growing fonder and fonder to.

 

—

 

 

“Please James? Come with me.” 

 

“I don’t even like those people Thomas.” 

 

“So don’t talk to them just stay with me.” 

 

“…I’ll go on one condition. You get our dear old friend to come with us.” 

 

Thomas looked to where James was pointing. Peggy sat by herself against the wall. She typed away on her phone and occasionally looked up every now and then. “And here I thought I’d get a challenge.” Thomas said. 

 

“Ha, I’d call it a challenge. To get Peggy to hang out with us again would be a miracle. But that’s the only way I’m coming with you tonight.” James told him. 

 

“Well then I guess you’re coming out tonight.” Thomas gave a wink to James before walking over to Peggy. “Peggy.” He said as he approached her. She looked up and gave a small smile. 

 

“Thomas.” 

 

“Care to have a chat?” He asked her and held out a hand. She took it and he helped her up. “So how have you been?” He asked. 

 

She shrugged. “My friends are mad at me after finding out what we’ve done.” She told him. 

 

“They know about that?” 

 

Peggy slightly glared at him. “You know they do.” 

 

Thomas laughed. “Yeah I knew but like, who cares?” She raised an eyebrow. “Seriously Peggy. I mean what right do they have to judge you? It was a year ago it’s in the past. Plus, it’s your life. If you ask me, I don’t think they treat you right.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Think about it. Aren’t you tired of just being one of the Schuyler sisters? Tired of being Angelica and Eliza’s little sister. Tired of being and Peggy.” Peggy looked away and kept quiet. “You know I’m right. The Peggy I knew was great.” 

 

“She’s still here.” Peggy finally said. 

 

Thomas shook his head. “Well I don’t see her. Look, James and I are going to be at the mall today after school. If you’d like to join us then come, we’d like to hang out with you again Peggy.” When Peggy said nothing Thomas sighed. “At least think about it.” And with that he left. 

 

Peggy stood there thinking things over when she saw her sister walk out of the cafeteria. Finally being able to make up her mind, she walked over to her. “Hey Angelica.” She said when she reached her. 

 

“Oh, hi Peggy. I thought you were avoiding us.” Angelica said. 

 

“Um yeah sorry about that. I just had a lot on my mind. I actually wanted to ask a favor.” Peggy told her. 

 

“Sure. What do you need?” 

 

“Can you drive me to the mall after school today?” Peggy asked her.

 

“Alright. You going shopping?” 

 

Peggy shook her head. “Just meeting up with some old friends.” 

 

“Alrighty then, sure I’ll drive you.” Angelica smiled at her. 

 

“Thanks Angie!” Peggy smiled to her sister before walking off. She gave a small wave to Thomas and James as she walked past them. They returned it and she felt slightly happier. _‘This… this is a good idea.’_ She thought as she headed to first period.

 

— 

 

Alex glared at Lafayette and John sighed shakily. "It isn't like that!" Laf obviously didn't buy it... even though Alex could tell he knew the truth. Alex looked back at John and noticed that his hands were creeping over to his arm where he started tapping the sleeve with his nail. Alex swatted his hand away and John looked up with wide eyes. 

 

"No." Alex stared and John looked down and dropped his hands. 

 

Laf laughed and pointed at them. "You two are like an old married couple!" 

 

Alex rolled his eyes and looked back to John. "Was he always like this with anyone you hung out with?" 

 

John sighed and glared daggers into Lafayette. "No. And usually he was the one I hung out with." Alex slowly turned his head to Laf who was almost falling out of his chair and had started crying. Alexander shook his head and slowly looked away to John where they both shared a look of disappointment. 

 

"So, Alex!" His head snapped up as a much more stable Laf grabbed his attention.  "So what are your thoughts on freckles?" 

 

Alex squinted his eyes and leaned forward confusedly. "They're kind of hot. Why?" 

 

John facepalmed and spoke about three octaves higher. "Really? In front of me? Can't it wait?!?" Alex felt the wheels of his brain click and his eyes widened. This time Lafayette did fall off his chair and John pulled his hoodie strings tight so that no one could see his face. Alex's entire body heated up. And thought about two conversations they had in a stairwell earlier. John facing Alex as he confessed, 'I'm gay.' Alex sitting in the stairwell as he looked up at John with tears in his eyes, 'I- I think I'm bi.' He felt himself knowing more as he kept remembering. Alex laying on the floor of the stairwell looking up at John because they accidentally fell twice. John's face turning pink when Alex winked at him in class. Those times they got caught staring at each other then looked away out of worry that the other saw but knowing full well that they did. The conversation right now and John's reaction. 

 

"Oh." Alex said as he stood up. Lafayette stopped laughing and looked up, worried. John loosened his hoodie and looked up at Alex with tears in his eyes and a scared expression. Alex held out his hand to John. "Come on. Don't want to be late to first period." John looked at him with confusion then smiled and blinked away tears. He pulled back his hoodie as he took Alexander's hand and he helped him up. As the two grabbed their things and started to walk away, Alex turned around to Lafayette who was sitting at the table wondering just what happened. "You wanna hang out too?" 

 

Laf shrugged and grabbed his things before jogging over to them and laughing. "Did you know that my buddy here is more fluent than you in any language?" Laf put his arm around Alex's shoulders as he winked at John. 

 

Alex smiled and shook his head. "I will send you back to France if you keep this up." 

 

Laf laughed (((heheh))) and continued talking. "My little Jackie doesn't usually become friends with people so fast." Alex chuckled at the ridiculousness of the situation they were in as he saw John try to punch Laf discretely. 'I'm so lucky to be alive right now' Alex thought to himself as he walked down the hallway holding his best friend's hand and an arm slung around his neck.

 

As they walked down the hall Alex turned to John. “Are you really fluent in more languages or was Laf just talking you up?” He asked as he smirked at him. 

 

John slightly looked away. “Ten if you count English.” He told him. 

 

“Woah seriously?” John nodded. 

 

“What languages?” Alex asked. John thought for a second before listing them. 

 

“French, Spanish, Mandarin, Swedish, Dutch, Italian, Greek, Latin, and Filipino.” 

 

Alex smiled. “You speak Spanish?” He asked. 

 

John nodded. “Sí. ¿Vos si?” 

 

Alex’s smile grew. “Lo hago, con fluidez. Es bueno que alguien más también lo haga.” He said. 

 

Laf groaned next to them. “Great, now there’s two of them.” He said. 

 

John laughed. “He’s just salty because whenever I’m annoyed with him I talk in a language he can’t understand and it bothers him.” Laf flipped John off. “What? It’s true!” John said with a laugh. Laf rolled his eyes and parted ways with them. 

 

“Vous oublier tous les deux. Je te verrai plus tard.” He said. 

 

“Au revoir!” John called to him with a wave. Alex laughed as he pulled John into the classroom. He held John’s hand till they got to their seat so when he finally let go John felt slightly sad. He liked holding Alex’s hand. When hey sat down John noticed Peggy was already there, on her phone waiting for the bell to ring. “Hey Peggy.” She looked over at him. “I’m sorry for how I acted over… you know what. I shouldn’t have ignored you like that.” He said to her. She looked confused for a second, like she didn’t know what he was talking about, before it clicked. 

 

“Oh, it’s fine. No need to apologize I’m over it.” She said. John looked surprised and so did Alex. 

 

“Really?” He asked. She nodded before giving her attention back to her phone. The bell rang and Mr. Washington came in. Everyone but John focused on him. 

 

_‘Well that was easy.’_ He thought. _‘Yeah too easy, something’s up. Maybe… maybe she’s mad at you.’_ John slightly tensed up at that thought. He grabbed his pencil and clicked it against the desk as something to occupy his hands. _‘I mean honestly you had no right to be mad at her so now she’s mad at you. It makes more sense. She only said that so you’d shut up and stop talking. Wow you hurt Peggy are you fucking proud of yourself? You’re an actual idiot.’_ He started clicking the pencil against his wrist. He pressed down hard as the lead came out and bit his lip so he wouldn’t say ‘ow’ out loud. The thoughts went away as he continued to do it before he felt a hand on his. Alex was looking at him and took the pencil away. He faced back towards the teacher, occasionally sending a glance to John. John took a deep breath and tried to focus but the thoughts came back. _‘She hates you and guess what comes after that. Angelica I will hate you, then Eliza, then Maria, and probably everyone else. They’ll all hate you because you’re the fucking idiot that couldn’t keep his mouth shut and got mad at Peggy over nothing. Good job, you’re going to loose them all and honestly, you deserve it.’_ He dug his nails into his wrist now. Digging them in as hard as he could then dragging upwards. He only stopped when he saw he was drawing blood. _‘Like I said, idiot.’_ He pulled his sleeve down further and crosses his arms. He’ll have to see Laf in between classes. He use to keep bandages for this exact reason and John hoped he still does. _‘He’ll be pissed you did it. How about you keep your best friend a little longer and don’t tell him.’_ Even though he knew it was probably not the best idea John went with that. He could tell it was still bleeding so he held his arm to his chest and sighed. _‘I truly am an idiot.’_

 

 

 


End file.
